The parking ticket that killed Luke Skywalker

Who would win in a fight? Poe Dameron or Finn, who does not have a last name? 2187. Yeah, Finn2187. Poe Dameron would win. Oh, wait. Did I forget to mention this is a kissing fight? Oh, man. That changes everything. I don't know how one wins, but I guess they both win. Everyone wins in a kissing fight.

No, I've got a real question for you. This one's actually relevant. So of the sequel era of Star Wars movies, which movie is your favorite? And why is it Rogue One? Okay, so when you say sequel era, you mean things that came out in our timeline after a certain date. Well, in that case, yes, definitely Rogue One. I know, right? I mean, it's not even a contest. Brought back Ponda Baba and Dr. Avazan, which of course would be the reason most people state, I'm sure. It explains why Dr. Avazan is like just so proud of the fact that he has a death sentence on 12 systems. The Empire wants me dead. They blew up a planet to get to me. Or at least half a planet. You don't even know. Just to get me. We barely escaped. I'm on a high right now. I'm not going to let this stupid moisture farmer tell me what to do. i love that he just naturally assumed that that that planet was blowing up because of him like

he's like they're trying to get to me panda we gotta go we gotta get to tatooine let's get to the most unassuming planet ever the empire will find me i've got a death sentence i mean he was doing some messed up stuff 13 systems and he's like we can't go to these systems they're too like populated we gotta go to tattooing hello and welcome to the popcorn isn't real hey the podcast where we talk about all things fan theory regarding film and movies and games i'm leif eric and i'm here with my co-host torvald and today we're talking about the star wars sequels of the three sequels which one's your favorite obviously the last jedi except for some very huge glaring flaws I feel like Rian Johnson is an amazing filmmaker, as we've seen from from Knives Out. I loved Knives Out. I think it's like a perfect screenplay. So I don't necessarily think that it helps the series, but I think it's a good movie.

It got a lot of hate, but I think even the, you know, the most toxic of fans would have a hard time arguing that the other two are better than The Last Jedi. They're clearly worse. I don't blame anyone for hating The Last Jedi. I can't forgive anybody for hating The Last Jedi and not hating the other sequels. Like, that is unforgivable. You are wrong, and you should feel bad if that's how you feel. I've never heard anyone try to defend The Rise of Skywalker. So, you know, at least no one's that crazy. The Force Awakens is the worst one. The Force Awakens is the worst one. It destroyed the franchise. Everything about it is destructive towards Star Wars. It's just awful. two good things about the force awakens and they are what the actors because all the actors were okay like oh yeah the casting that's the best thing i can say about it they are matthew mcconaughey watching the trailer oh that's so good oh my goodness oh i'm so glad you reminded me about

that that's like the trailer was awesome and matthew mcconaughey got it more than anyone else he understood how awesome the trailer was no he didn't understand like he'd never seen a trailer before in his life he'd never even seen like a thing on a screen before he didn't know how to interact with it but he loved it he was so into it he was just engrossed in this trailer he tried to wave to kylo he's like hi to those who don't know we're referencing a viral video that showed Matthew McConaughey from Interstellar as a reaction video. When he was watching like the video of his daughter. But instead he was watching the trailer for the Force Awakens. By the end he's so emotional. Hussle says, Julie, we're home. Matthew McConaughey is like crying. He can't keep it together. He's like, oh they are home.

Directly mirrored all of our feelings at watching the trailer. Hey, it was a good trailer. Say what you want about the Force Awakens awful movie but the trailer was great like that whoever made that trailer killed it like they got the hype just uh sky high for that movie the other best thing about the force awakens is kylo ren on undercover boss whoa you're right that is the other best thing about the force awakens snl sketch oh my gosh matt the radar tech i love matt the radar tech he's so good He hears Kylo shitted. He just loves Kylo Ren so much. He has like an eight pack. Yeah. So I'm going to be covering one main theory, maybe a couple side theories. I'm going to be looking at all three of the sequels. Did you rewatch all of them? If so, I feel your pain. Oh my gosh. I did. No, I actually enjoyed myself. I hadn't seen The Rise of Skywalker since it was in theaters. And how this came about was I've been watching the entire Star Wars series in chronological order.

So I watched The Phantom Menace, and then I watched Attack of the Clones, then the Clone Wars show, including all of its movies in chronological order, which requires a lot of skipping around because that show aired really weird.

I'm baffled by why they ever would air a show like that. It's weird. And they don't tell you. You have to figure it out. And then I watched Revenge of the Sith, plus all of the shows that come after it, Rebels and Andor, Kenobi. After I got through the pre-Rebellion phase, I watched A New Hope, and then I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special. But that is canon. It's officially not. It should be. No, it's the most canon. Many things have canonized. It has their actors and it introduces Life Day, which we know is canon. That introduces Adichuk to his dad's absolute infatuation with virtual reality porn. He loves it. He loves VR. Human porn. Yeah, he's so into it. He's like getting off in front of his family. He's like really loving that. He's like panting and bouncing up and down. He does use, like, a VR headset instead of, like, a screen. Because they don't really use screens, like, or as little as possible, at least.

They would rather have, like, holograms in Star Wars. They don't like screens. Oh, they love flickery. They have screens, but they don't like them. They'd rather use these horrible, horrible holograms that barely work. I mean, Lumpy watches a bunch of holograms that are not entertaining. No, it cannot. I went through the whole series all the way to the sequels and that's how this came about. But what is the theory? Finn loves Poe, not Rey. Yeah, but this is just canon. Yeah, I don't think that's going to be particularly divisive. Yeah, the actor for Poe, Oscar Isaac, did allude to him and Finn possibly having somewhat of a relationship or feelings towards each other in multiple interviews. He was kind of playing it up for a while. someone asked him some questions about it and i think he just thought that was a fun idea and thought he would play it up a bit but clearly uh the directors of certain movies did not

agree with that so they're like quick let's give him a girlfriend and make her like really cool and really marketable with a helmet on oh yeah people love zori bliss she's not the action figure who goes for like eight bucks even though she was like an original red line figure dude you're such a freaking nerd so the force awakens we've talked it down because it's terrible but also I will say it does have potential near the beginning all the new characters are fine like I like Poe I think his introduction is interesting and great I like Finn you know Stormtrooper turned good really interesting they could have done a lot with him I honestly even like Rey Like, as a scrapper, I think she's fine. That was the best of Rey in the very first, like, the very first time we saw her was the best of Rey. Because she had infinite potential then. She's some, like, you know, scrapper, homeless woman living on a desert.

They could have filled her with backstory. And did they? No. Well, she has no story. She has no praise now. She tried a little here and there. Well, I think she stops making sense when they decide to make her Han Solo, Luke, and Leia all rolled into one. The original trilogy was fun because it had a trio of characters with different strengths. And Rey just has all the strengths. She's an amazing pilot. She's great with a lightsaber. The most powerful force user ever. She can force heal. She can become a force triumvirate or whatever it's called. Duality in the force. So, in the very beginning of this movie, what makes Finn abandon his post? His post. His post. Is it being ordered to shoot some random civilians? He has to have done that. This isn't his first day as a stormtrooper. He sure acts like it is, though. He has just seen Poe held hostage by Kylo. It's love at first sight. And what is the first thing he does when he gets back to the ship?

He wipes blood all over his helmet. He goes and rescues Poe. He frees him from being a hostage. It's like, let's escape together. He sees him. He sees this dude stand up to Kylo, and then he sees him captured, and he's like, I need this man in my life. That's true. See, now, I always took it as, like, he realized that Poe was a pilot, and he's like, I'm not a pilot, so I gotta get a pilot to get out of here. But when you combine this with some of the later evidence... No, no, but when you combine this with later evidence from The Last Jedi, we do find out that finn is definitely not a pilot he can't even land a ship like in a parking lot he just like crashes on a beach sometimes and just like leaves a ship there and gets arrested for it and screws up the entire movie very early on this is where the movie goes off the rails he escapes with poe and they crash in the desert and disappears poe is just gone he's gone that's where the movie

essentially is gone i know i agree for me that was where the movie died it was great until that point and then i'm like what what because they have great chemistry just keep them together and then they meet ray it could have been fine honestly they didn't even need to meet ray she could have had her own story and they could have just had like you know two separate stories going along and maybe met at the end or something i don't know yeah they could have met each other i'm just saying there was a lot they could do like they had good chemistry with poe and finn just keep them together do their thing ray was having a cool adventure by herself finding the Millennium Falcon getting out of there with the droid like she could have done her thing too. Finn thinks Poe is dead. And what does he do when he thinks Poe is dead? He takes his jacket and tries to become him. No, no. He loved that jacket though. Like this is where the entire

romance theory comes from is that Finn, like the first time him and Poe talked, he was like, dude, that's a really nice jacket. He specifically complimented his jacket. And then after Poe died, He's like, oh, at least I still have his jacket to remember. Yeah, exactly. No, he takes the jacket. He's like, I loved this man. I need to become him. So he claims essentially to be Poe. He's like, I'm with the Resistance. I'm a big, cool guy. He knows he's a coward at heart. I mean, if there's anything we know about Finn, it's that he is a total coward. And I love that about him. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I agree. Very consistent. And I also think it's an interesting character trait, like to have one of the main characters be a coward. Like, that's fun. Gives him a lot of things to overcome. It's much better than having a main character who's just perfect in every way and has no personality, right? Yeah, no, I genuinely like that about Finn.

But I think he's trying to do what Poe would have wanted. His heart is just broken. Later on, at the end of the movie, when he meets Poe again, they hug. And it's an affectionate hug. It's not like a bro hug. It's like they really missed each other. And then they, like, you know, kiss a little bit. Yeah, just a quick little make out. At the end, after they have the big fight, Finn is hurt, and it's Poe who takes Finn away. Rey doesn't even care. She's like, I'm going to go find Luke. Well, Rey doesn't like Finn. Dude, but... No, she doesn't. But Finn tried to confess to her in The Rise of Skywalker, and they never, ever, ever came back to that. Wasn't that cool? Oh, no, no. They actually come back to it a few times, and that's not what he's trying to do. There's a very good reason for that. We'll get to that when I get to The Rise of Skywalker. Sorry, I didn't want to skip forward. We'll just leave that one dangling,

tantalizing our listeners till later. Just talking about Finn, a lot of people really, really harp on the fact that they think that Finn would have been a much better character if Disney had had the balls to make him a Jedi. And everyone's like, they teased that he was going to be a Jedi because we all saw him holding the lightsaber in the trailer. And then he picked it up. Then he had a fight with Kylo and, you know, he held his own. And why did they never turn him into a Jedi? And I'm just like, I'm just like sick to my stomach hearing that. I'm like, that would have been the worst thing they could have done for him is making him a Jedi. I think he's so much cooler and interesting being like a guy who used to be a stormtrooper and wants to defect and is kind of a coward. Like he's got infinite potential. He doesn't need to be everything. You could do so much with him. He doesn't need to be a Jedi too.

That would just be dumb. No. Like, yeah, it's weird because I obviously feel similar to you, but I had the opposite experience seeing the trailer. I didn't like Finn because it seems like all he does is breathe and sweat. They show him like four times and that's all he does. But it wasn't until I actually watched the whole trilogy that I was like, I actually like Finn. He's a very consistent character. He's interesting. In this movie, they clearly had no idea what they were doing with Finn and Rey. And I think the lightsaber is kind of symbolic of that. They didn't know which one they were going to make the Jedi. I think this is just indicative of rewrites. I think at one point there was a draft where Finn was going to be a Jedi. Absolutely, yes. Speaking of Finn's arc, I love, love, love that he doesn't have an arc in The Force Awakens. He wants to run. That's all he really wants to do the whole movie.

yeah he just keeps getting like pulled into other things like he's like i don't want to go to star killer face and they're like you got to go to star killer face he's like i just want to leave it's really good and i love in the last jedi that he was incapacitated wanting to run and he wakes up wanting to run yeah he goes to the escape he gets out of there he's like we gotta go it's just great because nothing has changed from his perspective well in this as we as we bridge the gap between force awakens and uh the last day i have to say a lot of people think that ryan johnson tried actively to undermine everything that jj abrams had set up with the force awakens and i don't disagree with that i kind of agree with that i think he was yeah but i admire and i think most people miss this i admire the fact and how well he carried through on every single plot string that uh jj abrams had left dangling at the end

he picked up everything there's nothing that he didn't continue to run with and yeah he took a lot of those plots and like turned them on their head but uh he didn't forget them like he paid attention to that awful movie and he was like all right i will do what i can with this i will i will pick up every plot i mean he's you know you like him or you hate him but he seemed to have done his best yeah i agree i mean ryan daunson did exactly what i would have done if i had been brought in which is i love canon you're a great director i i love little details and he kept all of them but i also hated the force awakens and if i had been brought in i would have been like okay well how can we make this not stupid yeah it's a good question how can we do anything else except other than just trying to badly copy the first movie oh my gosh i can't believe that they brought star killer base into like that was just the fall of that movie yeah it's just like at that

point i was well stupid well like we're doing in the original movie the death star is set up from the very beginning like it's this big force and we see it do lots of damage it is a huge undertaking of the empire and its completion is like a massive milestone that took lots of effort and resources right they didn't just pull it out of nowhere and they didn't just turn a planet into it you know like yeah how did the circular race doesn't make any sense it doesn't have the resources of the empire it makes no sense and also one of the things people hated most about um the return of the jedi was the fact that the empire just pulled another death star out of their back pocket like people thought that was stupid but it was like broken let's do that you know at least it's like half of a death star i don't necessarily know a lot about how hyperspace works but they can see those beams traveling across the sky yet somehow they're hitting planets that are in other solar

systems you know in real time reversing dreams i guess that would take a long time like light only travels at a certain rate I guess they're using hyperspace but anyway they have to be yeah they receive faster than light transmissions in Star Wars right like they can communicate supposedly like across vast distances so they must be able to send radio waves across hyperspace therefore yeah they can send light across hyperspace so if those were in fact laser beams which I guess we don't know if they were then yes I guess that's possible I don't know the last jedi now i love the way the last jedi takes all the plot holes from the force awakens and tries to fix them all and it fixes them in a really good way that i think actually makes sense like it points out that kylo ren was just like a pitiful version of darth vader and he's not really darth vader and then has him break his helmet because he realizes he can't be darth vader

yeah and also points out how pathetic it was that he was beaten by someone who had never held a lightsaber before so i i love kylo ren's character to me that is the best part of the only good thing that came out of the sequels um i think he's an amazing character he fits in so well as a skywalker boy right like he is such a skywalker he's he's just like anakin if he if anakin didn't have the power that he wanted you know he's like a more realistic and angry he's really mad all the time about everything and he can never win i genuinely love in the force awakens how he's like an anti darth vader he kind of looks like him but no one's scared of him really and he doesn't ever kill or choke people he just like hits the consoles and breaks things stormtroopers are like okay let's just leave again i think that flaws in a character make that character compelling and fun and seeing them either overcome those flaws or not overcome those flaws can be a cool character arc and i

think kylo had a lot of potential and in a lot of ways lived up to that potential especially in the last jedi ryan johnson he saw that potential and he was like yeah we could do a lot with this character like even though it maybe wasn't intentionally set up this way by jj abrams we can do a lot with it and there are a lot of places we could go and i think he really leaned on like a relationship between kylo and ray basically out of thin air out of nothing so well amazing it works surprisingly well like it was like they have no relationship in the previous movie and then the last jedi it's like whoa well it's it's the most believable interactions between humans in the entire sequels like they're just both two like people that aren't getting what they want and basically have nothing and they're kind of like cleaving unto each other because they're all they have right plus we get to see uh kylo like with his shirt off and he is like

shredded he's got an eight pack i mean he's got like a giant belt he's got the biggest pants but i'm pretty sure there's an eight pack under his chest oh no i love i love that part especially they even point out how ridiculous it is because ray is like don't you have like a cowl or something you could put on and then he doesn't he's just like that he loves it i want you to stare at my text no gotta love ben swolo he's so cool he's he's great he's like his chest is not like he's necessarily ripped but it's just massively wide he's so wide it's like when he has his black shirt on you don't notice as much no Is that even how humans are supposed to be shaped? Well, it really is accentuated by, you know, the jet black pants and gigantic belt traveling up to his chest, right? Because black is slimming and then suddenly his pasty white chest pops out of it. So it looks like extra big. It's so good.

Man, I love Kylo. He's just a great character. One more plot hole that it fixes in the very beginning. Snoke bothers to point out why he keeps Hux around, which you might have wondered. watching the force awakens why this this little weasel man is like the leader of the first order and he says it's because he's got a good reason it's useful to have a rabid creature like him in a place of power it's so useful he's like now you see why i keep a rabid cur in a place of power kylo see see right there see what he did as far as i'm concerned that fixes it and then jj abram comes in the third one and is just like totally ruins it by saying that oh hux really isn't that powerful there's just another random general which is stupid hux is the one who destroyed the entire republic he gave the order he has the highest kill count of any character in the star wars universe in second place comes grand moff tarkin i said that the the only thing i liked was

uh kylo ren and his character uh that's a lie i also really really liked in the sequel uh hux in his character and the dynamic between him and kylo ren yeah that was like they love each other but they hate each well no it's it's such a perfect dark mirror reflection of vader and tarkin right yeah because they got these two people well right vader and vader idolized tarkin uh which you wouldn't know unless you've read like the uh the expanded universe like or or you've watched the clone wars because i just love the tarkin episodes because because tarkin keeps saying things that are clearly evil and ahsoka keeps being like i don't know and anakin is just like i don't know he's got some really good ideas like this guy's great i love it wow destroy a planet right good idea it's really good because vader idolized tarkin he loved tarkin he thought Tarkin was great and that's why Tarkin was still around because Vader wasn't ever gonna hurt him

and the Emperor liked him because he got results so it's you know makes sense for those three to be you know just you know cutting up the galaxy together and then you know 40 years later we've got Hux and Kylo who are just like pitiful flawed reflections of them right like just a couple of losers who wish that they were Tarkin and and Vader like just doing their best and being mad all the time and they're not friends and they hate each other they don't idolize each other they just fight and fight but they're still all they have it's so good I will never forgive JJ for killing off Hux and never even having Kylo acknowledge it yeah it's just such a stupid scene and it's just throwing away like two movies of setup for Hux like you don't establish a character like that just to kill him off in an instant by a random character you just made up just yeah random i don't even know if he had like at least have someone like random kill him like

anyone or like they even set up that he was gonna defect and join the the resistance do that sure why not i mean i don't think he genuinely could because he was basically space hitler right so but yeah have let him try i mean well since we're on the the subject of hucks there was a different screenplay for the third movie called duel of the fates which many people have read most people like it a lot better better than the rise of skywalker though it was still pretty bad like i wouldn't have necessarily been happy after watching it there were some parts that i liked a little better and mostly they had to do with hux he had an arc where he tries and fails to use the force several times which was kind of funny he like holds his hand out and they capture rose and he holds his hand out over her and it's like you will tell me and she starts laughing at him because she's like are you trying to use the force and then in the end after he realizes that he's

lost and failed hux actually like uh honor kills himself on a lightsaber which i think is a much better end than yeah i mean better than nobody blasted right the weird thing about duel of the that I just like scared me a little like it just really repulsed me from it was just that the main romance is between Poe and Rey which is like where's that coming from Poe and Rey they've never even met one of the things that rubbed people the wrong way about The Last Jedi is it has somewhat of a joking tone almost a bit more of a Marvel tone well I mean no more than The Force Awakens did like oh right exactly giant tentacle monsters following them around or or the rise of skywalker when it's like they fly now they fly now they've flew for the past 70 years they had jet troopers jetpack troopers in the clone wars what the crap are you talking about this is not new that's like if someone walked in into a war with like an ak-47 and i was like oh

they have machine guns now they've had those people really latched onto this in the last jedi The movie opens with a joke, Poe calling up Hux and acting like he's on hold and can't hear Hux. But that's just Poe's personality. Right, so I agree that this is pretty out of character for the Star Wars universe. But like you said, maybe it's in character for Poe. I would say it's fine that he acts this way, but he should have to deal with the consequences of having a personality that doesn't jive with his compatriots or the universe as a whole. And he does have to deal with those consequences. Like a major arc of this movie is basically Poe learning his lesson. Yeah. It absolutely justifies him acting like a big goofball jerk off in the middle of a battle because he faces major consequences for it. And he has to like reassess himself in his entire life because of it. It may not be a perfect arc.

There are some issues, but I think that they actually like justified him being joking. It's certainly better than his arc in the previous movie, which was nothing. Yep, his arc was disappearing and not being there for the rest of the movie. So weird. Yeah, I just thought that that's one thing that people complain about with The Force Awakens that I really can't necessarily get behind. I feel like it's a bit more of a meta movie, like it's conscious of itself, unlike the J.J. Abrams ones that are just, like, stupid.

There's no intelligence in them whatsoever. So this scene where Poe is acting out is in general a bit interesting because his assault on that Dreadnought was an absolute suicide mission. Like, he was totally wrong and Leia was right. Like, Poe is a maniac. He's crazy. He got so many people killed here. It was an awful, awful mission. When they apparently only have 400 members of the Resistance left somehow. I don't know how that happened. Poe killed them all in horrible missions. Like, apparently his best idea was everybody drive straight towards the fully active Death Star and let's bunch all of our bombers together. It's just, it's insane. Yeah. And yeah, all the bombers die. Everyone dies. Poe doesn't die because, like, he chickened out. He left. Also, Poe's strategy here is bad because he doesn't seem to know how space works. Like, it's not a 2D plane. you can fly in all directions and also in space you don't have to drop bombs you can shoot bombs

you don't have to be over anything you're always over it because there's no up or down right so that did bother me as well um when i when i watched the movie the first time i've somewhat come to terms with it just simply due to the fact that there are tie bombers in the star wars universe and they do drop bombs in space i mean that's this is established you can't hate on it too much it's just how the star wars universe works they drop bombs in space for some reason we don't know why maybe it helps somehow but they do it it's fine you can't shoot bombs that powerful they gotta be dropped they have to be dropped i have no idea why but that is the case Here's the reason why. It's because it was created by a man who grew up in the 1950s and people from that era love World War II movies. And that's why they dropped bombs, which is also consequently relates to our Poe loves Finn and Finn loves Poe theory.

Because in this movie, there's actually a deleted scene where Poe has repaired the jacket that he gave to Finn or that Finn took. He's repaired it and he gives it back to Finn, which in like 1950s dude language, that's like how you say someone's your girlfriend. Yeah. You give them your coat, right? Your varsity jacket.

I'm with you. I'm with you. That fits in very well with the very next scene of the movie, which is gooey, naked Finn leaking all over Poe, which is very, very good. And Poe is so happy to see him. I'm just like, yeah, it just feels so good. They're so happy to see each other. And Finn is just like, I got to get out of here. I have to leave. The next thing that people really hate about this movie was Luke throwing away the lightsaber when him and Rey met. So, first of all, look at Luke's expression at the end of The Force Awakens. He's not happy to see Rey. And he wouldn't be. He was hiding. He's a hermit. Right. He wasn't sitting here waiting to be found. He was sitting here hiding. She's mad because he dropped the thing and he won't join her. He says, you think what? I'm going to walk out with a laser sword and face down the whole First Order. What did you think was going to happen here?

You think I came to the most unfindable place in the galaxy for no reason at all? Yeah. It's a good question. I imagine this is what Rian Johnson was thinking as he was trying to figure out what J.J. Abrams was thinking. And I also love how he calls it a laser sword because that's like the generic term you would use if you're someone who isn't really part of Star Wars, you know? He's being derisive on purpose and it fits in-universe because that's like something Han Solo would say, right? Like as a non-force kind of guy. In the first movie, he would have said like a space wizard with a laser sword kind of thing. I appreciate this scene because Rey walking up to Luke and wordlessly extending the lightsaber to him was just the stupidest thing I've ever seen on film. Because, like, why? What is she doing? First of all, why is she here? Which Luke starts asking her later. She's like, I'm here to get you.

I'm here to bring you and save the resistance. And he's like, no, no, but why are you here? and he's clearly like why isn't like leia here or han or something right it makes no sense for her to be here he says they sent you what's special about you where are you from and she just says nowhere going back to how people hate luke throwing away his lightsaber throwing away his legacy i understand people hating it i don't care about how anyone feels about it i don't care how i feel about it. It does not matter. This was the only way this scene could have continued. If you look at how The Force Awakens ends and how this movie starts, what was supposed to happen? Like there's no possible way any director could continue this scene without Luke being angry and not wanting to be a Jedi. Because unfortunately, J.J. Abrams set up a situation where Luke went and hid on the furthest and most unfindable planet in the galaxy as stupid as that sounds and yes yes he he says

it like it's stupid too because it is and ryan johnson knew that and he has literally forsaken his entire role as a jedi so clearly we've got a guy who doesn't want to be found doesn't want to be a jedi doesn't want to help with anything what else is he supposed to be like ryan johnson didn't set this up jj abrams did so whether you like it or hate it it take it up with jj abrams this is his situation so i don't care whether you like it or hate it it's just the only way the movie could continue like what what should luke have done run into her arms and embraced her that wouldn't have made any sense like he doesn't know her and he doesn't want to be found and he doesn't want to be a jedi clearly and again not because i like it that way but because that's the way it is according to jj abrams who was given the reins to the first movie i feel like luke where he's like what did you think was going to happen here like he's talking to the fans like i'm just like what

did you think was gonna happen here did you think luke was like some secret weapon that can just destroy the first order and he had to hide himself away so that they wouldn't like find him and kill him but he's just waiting for someone to come and and take him and and aim him at the first order and he wins being the macguffin that will save the day and needs to be found was idiotic uh but But apparently that's all J.J. Abrams knows how to do is MacGuffins that need to be found so the movie can continue, right? Since we're talking so much about J.J. Abrams, just a random anecdote. So I knew a writer who worked on the show Lost, which J.J. Abrams famously created. And she said J.J. Abrams had no idea what was going to happen in Lost. He wrote the first episode, and that was his entire involvement until he came back and wrote the last episode. He had no involvement in the series other than that.

He just put a bunch of interesting things together for a first episode and then left. Luke goes, and he finds a sea cow and drinks green milk instead of blue milk. Just like he threw down the blue lightsaber that Rey gave him. And, you know, he made a green lightsaber later. And I seem to recall, Torvald, that you had a theory about this or you heard a theory about this? Right. So I have to give all credit to this theory to a YouTube channel called Shafferless Productions, which is a great channel. If you like our takes on movies and are somewhat sarcastic and cynical dissections of movies, then you would, of course, love Shafferless Productions. He had a theory about The Last Jedi, that Luke drinking the green milk right here is indicative of his entire character arc up to this point. In Luke's world, various colors define everything. In A New Hope, Luke was a young, hopeful boy with big dreams and aspirations.

He was represented by blue. You know, he's got a blue lightsaber. He tells Uncle Owen to buy the blue droid. Not the red one, get the blue one. He drinks blue milk, right? And in Star Wars, blue represents peace and, you know, not fighting. Whereas in The Empire Strikes Back, he became more of a green character. He started, you know, fighting. He chopped off the wampa's arm. He went and met Yoda, who was green. Wow, I was about to ask about that, actually. Yeah, yeah, right? So in Star Wars, green symbolizes, it's not hate, it's not anger, because that's red, right? like that's the sith green symbolizes selfishness and abandoning you know everything except for being self-serving right being like a hermit living alone just like yoda does and just like luke does later um and also we see in that movie that luke was so self-centered that when uh when everyone was telling him they're like no you have to stay here and finish your training the galaxy

depends on you he's like no i'm gonna be selfish and go off to cloud city because that's what i want to do he's becoming a green jedi he's going to the green side and then uh of course in in the next movie uh return of the jedi luke has a green lightsaber because he's fully embraced the green side and then he goes to save his father even though he shouldn't all right in the very end of the movie he completely abandons his friends on the moon of endor to confront the emperor and vader um and you know he's very selfish in that fight he's not he's not fighting for vader because like he beats the crap out of him he's not trying to save his dad he tries to like kill his dad and he's trying to kill the emperor too he's completely self-centered and then uh in the fourth awakens when luke enters kylo ren's tent he holds up his green lightsaber but how does kylo how does kylo protect himself with a blue lightsaber it's the anti-luke so that's the

only way kylo could fend him off with the blue color that he had forsaken so then luke he he fully embraces the green side of the forest and he abandons his friends and goes to live alone on a planet just like green old yoda did and then of course when ray presents him with the blue lightsaber the bane of his existence he unceremoniously rejects it he tosses it away he's he's the green uh jedi now he doesn't like blue anymore and he goes and rubs this in her face by drinking a mouthful of green milk throughout the movie he doesn't do anything until his green master yoda shows up again who is now encircled by a blue force ghost or uh yoda has started to reform and he tells luke that he was wrong all along and luke needs to go help his friends and then yoda summons a blue lightning bolt to destroy the green tree right yeah yeah so then uh luke he he starts to reform himself and he embraces the blue

lightsaber of his father again and he he comes back and attacks kylo and then becomes a force ghost himself that's that's the green milk and the blue milk theory i just because you mentioned it i love luke's story about what happened between him and ben because first time he tells it just ben just attacked him i know he's like that evil evil ben he attacked me and then ben's like no he burst into my tent with crazy eyes and tried to kill me and ben is right he's not lying i love how luke luke's version when he tells the truth quote-unquote it's like yes i was standing over him with my lightsaber ready to kill him but i wasn't gonna yeah why were you there luke i changed my mind at the last second i'm sure you did a lot of people were really really up in arms about the idea of luke attacking a child who is also his student who is also his nephew like they're like this is and had been like entrusted to him by leia even though han was

against it yeah so people are like this isn't something that luke would never do luke skywalker is a good guy he has like really really strong morals he would never ever do anything like this and i kind of think this is actually somewhat in character for luke i don't like certain things about this movie i don't necessarily like that luke did this but i don't disagree with it these skywalker boys have always been portrayed as extremely rash headstrong spontaneous they will get a feeling and then just barrel headlong into a situation that could have been avoided with just a little more tact and forethought anakin did this non-stop all the time like that's all anakin does or luke is like let's break into the detention center on the right i mean exactly he jets off to save leia with obi-wan like what the heck is he doing he's just a farmer uh in the next movie heads like headfirst into a trap on cloud city because he feels like it right he's like i feel

like i should go there it's a horrible idea he doesn't even have a plan he just shows up and gets caught and like i said for all the skywalkers kylo is just made of bad decisions and not thinking things through that's all he does so yeah i think if luke got a sudden feeling of absolute dread and death from the force pointing him towards kylo i 100 believe that he would rush in there in the middle of the night with his lightsaber drawn uh i don't think that's even slightly out character yeah and luke says that kylo left with some of his students which is clearly supposed to be the knights of ren and yet the knights of ren are not force sensitive well and they existed for decades apparently before kylo right because they were like fighting the bounty hunters were those knights of ren i thought those are crimson dawn or no were they no they're the knights of ren in the crimson dawn the whatever that arc was called you're right rain that's what

No, you're right. Those are the Knights of Ren before Kylo Ren. What? So he became Kylo Ren because he joined the Order of Ren and became a Knight of Ren and somehow became the leader of the Knights of Ren. We never really see how or why or what the Knights of Ren are, but they existed before him and he joined them and then joined Snoke. It shows the Knights of Ren like once in The Force Awakens and then they're just like gone and then they show up again in The Rise of Skywalker. but they work for kylo and yet they attack kylo at the end they don't work for the emperor why would the knights of ren be working for the emperor they were kylo's personal guard and that's the thing that's what you would think if all you saw was the sequels but the fact is in the canon they're not kylo's personal guard and they don't work for him he joined them yeah yeah i know i understand essentially works for them he is kylo ren he is

one of the knights of wren so another thing about this movie that most people did not get offended by but that to me is just like a glaring stupid aspect of the movie finn and rose really did just kind of like park their ship on a private beach for no reason and that is exactly why they get arrested in the casino before they can talk to the code breaker with a red plot that also is the subplot that results in the best arc in the andor series which is yeah he gets arrested for loitering sent to a prison yep i just think it's so weird that one of the major story arcs of this film is a parking ticket like it's just because they were so stupid that they did not park in a parking lot they parked on the beach which is a horrible place to park it would have been harder to park on the beach than in a parking lot what is wrong with finn finn just knows he wouldn't be able to like fit in a parking space because he can barely fly flying is just like par

for the course in their world this is like if you're writing a john wick movie and john wick like told his buddy to go to the store and buy an aspirin and then his buddy instead of parking in the parking lot he like parks on a beach yeah like in in the middle of a park because he's like well it's called a park so i guess i'll park here because he's never lived on earth like he he just has no understanding of people and then like his car gets impounded and while he's picking it up he like meets a drug dealer in the alley and is like oh well these drugs must be aspirin and then buys them and brings them to to john wick right like that's essentially what they do just as well as he would expect exactly because that's what they do they go to jail yes finn and rose go to jail for a parking ticket and then they meet a guy in jail who's breaking out and they're like here's our code breaker and it turns out he's a bad guy they're just completely you're not the

person that their trusted contact ma has sent them to get no he's the wrong and they don't they know he's not the person they're just like well this guy's a scumbag i'm sure he'll help us it's just it's the stupidest plot it's so stupid like yeah it's just two people doing things they shouldn't have done i actually like canto bite as a place there are lots of cool aliens yeah it's fun it ruins the main plot which is one of the things i think is really genius about this movie is he created a contained thriller in space sort of this naval thing going on where they can just barely outrun the star destroyers but they can't go to hyperspace because of the fuel thing well because of the tracking thing but it's not contained because they can just leave right they can just Go to Canto Bight. And that that bugged me when I first watched the movie because I was like, how are like ships leaving and coming back to this chase?

Like if ships can leave and come back, then clearly other ships could like intercept them. The ships that are chasing them, I guess, aren't going to go to hyperspace and try and cut them off because they don't necessarily know where the resistance is going. But they could call up some other first order ships and say, hey, they're heading this direction. go into hyperspace, come out of hyperspace ahead of them, and cut them off. Unless, much like the resistance that has their entire resistance there, maybe that's the entire First Order that's chasing them. I mean, Snoke is there for some reason. He doesn't need to be there. That would have made, I think, a much better story for the sequels if the Rebels had swapped places, and now the Rebels are the bad guys and the Empire is the good guys, right? That's not how they did it. The First Order is as powerful or more than the Empire. It's bigger than the Empire.

Yeah, for some reason. Who knows how? One of the other missteps is that they kill Admiral Ackbar, and worst of all, in a trap! He would have seen that coming from a mile away. No, he wouldn't have, because when he said it's a trap, he got caught in a trap. But he survived it. Not this time. I'm sad that they killed off Admiral Ackbar. I'm not up in arms about it, because I understand that killing off major characters can be useful. Well, not off-screen. Right, but they killed him off off screen. That's the problem. You might have to argue that he's a major character, but to me he is. What are you talking about? He's a named character from the original trilogy. That makes him a major character. No, I know, I know. End of story. Just like Fonda Bava and Dr. Evarism. Yes, that's exactly what I was about to say. Any character from the original trilogy with a name is a major character. Although they weren't named in the movie.

Well, fair enough. He's a major character. He was an admiral. Like, come on. He is. My question is, why Holdo? Why Admiral Holdo or Vice Admiral Holdo, whatever she's called? They already had Leia and several other already established characters. Why bring in another new character to save the day? Like, use one of the people you already have. Why not let Leia be the one to do it? I know they didn't know the actor was going to die. If Leia was going to die, it should have been doing the Leia maneuver, right? It should have been. Like, I would buy it if Leia did it. But Holdo with her weird purple hair, like who I've never seen before. I agree. So they have Holdo be antagonistic toward Poe. Poe is wrong. They're telling it from his perspective. So it makes us hate Holdo. Now, this is unfortunate because she saves the day at the end, which isn't exactly a great payoff because we didn't like her and we're not supposed to like her because she's

the antagonist here, even though she is correct. Like, like if you look at it from her perspective. She is wrong for hiding her plan from everybody. I don't know why she doesn't just tell them we're on our way to a planet. I agree with you. I think she should just tell them the plan. But at the same time, maybe she did tell some people the plan, but not the guy who was just demoted. That's exactly what I was going to say. Poe is a loose cannon and he is also a total traitor. He puts handcuffs on the Admiral. Poe should have learned what the plan was through the chain of command. As all of them should have. She should have disseminated that information. Another new character who got a lot of hate is Rose. Now, I personally, I really like Rose. Having her stun Finn, the hero from the first movie, as the first thing she does when we meet her probably isn't a great move if you want people to like your new character.

But I like it because I like seeing Finn get knocked around. Oh, right. I mean, that's when Finn's at his best, honestly, is when he's running away and getting beat. He's a good character. So back to Luke. One good moment. R2 playing the old Leia hologram is a really great moment. That's what convinces Luke to say he'll give Rey three lessons. Now, I have to point out, she only gets one. It's great. I do like what he teaches Rey, though. And this goes, I just love the theme of this movie. It's just that the old needs to die and let's do something new. Like the Force Awakens needs to die. Let's stop copying the old. Let's do something new. I love Luke says, now that the Jedi are extinct, they are romanticized, deified. But if you strip away the myth, look at their deeds. The legacy of the Jedi is failure, hypocrisy, hubris. At the height of their powers, they allow Darth Sidious to rise and create the empire and wipe them out.

He's right. I get it. And I fully agree with him. but he never experienced their self-righteous idiocy. Like he came along after the fall of the Jedi. So I don't know, like where did he get all this? It might make sense for Obi-Wan to say that, except Obi-Wan would never say that. No, Obi-Wan's a zealot. That's his thing is that he is fully, fully into the, he's drinking the Force Kool-Aid. And I love that about Obi-Wan. He's honestly, he's one of my favorite Star Wars characters just because of how consistent he is. But Luke, I don't know where he'd be getting these ideas unless he like has been reading some empire propaganda history books or something that were like talking about how horrible the Jedi were. And I love to hear this from Luke for the sole reason that this is exactly how his dad felt. And this is what led his dad down the right wing dictator path of becoming a Sith, right?

Like this is what Anakin was saying to Amidala, right? Maybe that's exactly why Luke thinks he needs to sequester himself off on this island of nuns. I don't know, but I was thinking kind of the same, is that maybe Luke has fallen to the dark side here. I mean, that could be an interesting plot if they were like, had Luke go on a rant about how the Empire ship was stolen and Palpatine just wanted to protect the Republic and we should stop the steal. It could have been fun, but anyway. I felt like the Luke training Rey bit of the movie was kind of half-baked. It was a really long movie, so I wasn't like begging for them to put more into it. If anything, they should have taken a bunch of crap out of it. They could have taken out the entire Canto Bight art. It is only created by Finn saying, I can't get us into the Star Destroyer. You did that. You already got them in the last movie. That's your thing.

You used to be a Stormtrooper. I would believe it if you just said, I can get us in. That would have cut out 30 minutes from the movie. We didn't need this entire thing. How do you feel about them saving the horses? Lots of people are up in arms about that because they're like, we saved the horses, but not the slaves. Oops. I have virtually no feelings on that whatsoever, except that the police seem really concerned with tracking Rose and Finn. But at this point, there is a herd of, like, indestructible horse wolves destroying their city, trampling cars, running straight through walls. Like, if this happened in any one of our towns, like in downtown L.A., the concern would be to catch those animals. Who cares about the two parking violation people? We've got to catch those guys who parked on the beach. But you've got to understand, for these police, it's personal because they just broke out of jail.

So the police are like, we've got to catch those deal breakers, you know? Rey and Kylo start seeing each other. Seeing each other, not just like eye to eye, but also in like seeing each other as like a couple. Well, yeah. They're basically forced dating is all I have to say. Yeah, they are. Even if you didn't know it until the third movie when they finally kiss. And you realize you didn't know you wanted them to kiss. But as soon as they start doing it, like, this is what I always wanted. Yeah. All I ever needed to hear from Ben Solo was, ow. It's a great line. Ow, and then just kiss it up and then die. What a great character, Ben Solo. In this current movie, The Last Jedi, I like that Rey is someone who's obsessed with the past because she doesn't have one. and kylo is someone who comes from a very long past and doesn't want it he's like let the past die kill it if you have to and i love that on a meta level because that's kind of what ryan

johnson is doing here he's he's killing the force awakens letting the past die by turning everything on its head yeah ray falls into the evil cenote of the dark side i like how she's an infinite copy of herself just echoing everything that came before and after. She feels like it leads somewhere, but then it just leads to herself. On a meta level, this is saying that the Star Wars series can't just keep copying itself over and over, or it will be nothing. Like how they keep saying Rey is nothing and she comes from nothing. And we see Rey copied millions of times. She's nothing. And the Star Wars series will be nothing if it keeps copying itself. But you could also argue that this fits into something they hadn't even planned yet, which is that it's foreshadowing that she's a clone of a clone of a clone. But she's not. She was the daughter of... Right, yeah, I know. But yeah, I follow. She was made using the wet method.

She was. Stop it. We gotta stop referencing that episode. Everyone needs to listen to Haunting Ground. I like that interpretation of this scene. I want to talk about what I think is the greatest scene in the movie. A lot of people are really, really offended, like, on a personal level by this scene. I ate it up. I loved it. I think that Kylo Ren just absolutely slicing Snoke in half and removing him from the trilogy is the greatest thing that ever happened. The best thing that ever happened. Rian Johnson is a genius for that scene alone. Because one of the things I hated most about The Force Awakens was Snoke. He's just like a generic, stupid Palpatine, which I love that later in The Rise of Skywalker, we learn that he was just a generic, stupid Palpatine. He's just a failed clone. That kicked off to me just an unbelievably amazing, beautiful action scene of Rey and Kylo back to back fighting off all of the Imperial Royal Guards together.

i love that scene i think everything about it was just like a masterpiece is perfect i love how everyone is seeing the future and misinterpreting it like not only snoke but ray and kylo both tell each other the other one will turn and stand with them to defeat snoke turns out they're both correct they're both seeing the same future but they and then snoke thinks he sees you because he's like i I see him raising the lightsaber and turning the blade and igniting it to chop down his true enemy. Oh, I'm dead. It's so good. Oh, I love this part. One thing I don't understand, even though it's an amazing scene, why is there a big disintegration hole in the middle of this room? They just like kick a guard into it and he just like explodes. It's like a Tron situation almost with like a de-res hole. I think that Rey turning to the dark side here and actually listening to the things Kylo is saying to her would have been more believable than the idea of Luke ever turning to the dark side in the original trilogy.

You actually can feel that Rey has good reasons to turn to the dark side right now. Like she has nothing and Kylo is the only friend and the only personality she's ever had. He's like excited and happy for the first time in his life. I mean, she says in The Rise of Skywalker, she would have taken his hand if he was just Ben Solo instead of Kylo Ren. He should have just said, ow, and then she would have been like, yes.

Rose and Finn and DJ are trying to break into the ship or whatever, change the codes. Finn sticks in some code chips that have tines like a key. Every time an astromech jacks into a computer, they have to turn like wheels and gears. I'm pretty sure that computers in the Star Wars universe don't work like ours do. It's an entirely mechanical system of tumblers and locks and gears. No, it is. Star Wars computers work like the old punch card computers of the 70s. but instead of punch cards you align gears so what they're doing when they move those gears is they are programming the computer and that's just how star wars computers work because they were based on 70s tech that's that's it so in in star wars for people who don't know hacking is called slicing and yes you can manually slice a computer if you have a key that can turn those gears you're writing code into the computer itself and then you can get the results that you

want by doing that. And that's just how it works. That's Star Wars tech. It seems that most of their mechanical devices, from their moisture evaporators to their ships to their droids, have some form of advanced artificial intelligence, even if it's just rudimentary. We don't have a complete view over how this works in the Star Wars universe, because, you know, it's a different universe to ours, so everything might be different. But in our universe, a computer is what is known as a Turing Complete Machine, right? And Turing Complete Machine is essentially anything that can accept input and accept arbitrary input and then deliver arbitrary output. And if you have that, then you have the most powerful computer in the world. And it could be made of cogs, or it could be made of switches, or it could be made of light bulbs, or it could be made of punch cards, it doesn't matter how it's accepting this code and how it's delivering the code or even

how it's doing the computations. As long as it can do those things and I'm not going to get into definition of this, but is Turing complete, then even if your computer is running at one operation every 200 hours, it doesn't matter how slow it is. It's just as powerful as the most powerful supercomputer. True and complete is true and complete. And we've never made a computer that is more powerful than that. The Star Wars universe doesn't really matter if they receive their input through COGS. Who cares? They can still do all the computations they need to do. So that's just how they've chosen to interact with them. End of story. They wouldn't be more powerful by being able to write code on a keyboard. Might make them more user friendly, but they've made artificial intelligence with punch cards basically. Artificial intelligence that they can't communicate with and need another artificial intelligence to do it for them. A lot of the more advanced AI models are now

combining multiple AI models and one of them will feed the other model with information and that's how they're essentially trying to use that to make more complicated AIs that can do more general tasks. Something I talked about in our, oddly enough, our Thomas and Friends episode. So if you'd like to learn more about artificial intelligence, go listen to our Thomas the Tank Engine episode. It's fantastic. I give like a dissertation on AI. Some people say it's their favorite episode. It's our craziest episode. I mean, we go off the rails. We start just like randomly citing episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine like everyone should know what they are. No one knows what they are. So Force Ghost Yoda shows up to Luke and summons lightning to destroy the tree, then giggles about it. That means that Yoda joined the dark side because Force Lightning is exclusively, canonically, a Sith power. I mean, he was always a little weird.

So the salt planet Krait, which I hate that they named this planet Krait because it has nothing to do with Krait Dragons. They're Krait Dragons, yeah, I know. I know it's Krait with a C and Krait Dragons are with a K, but come on. And a Y. What I think is interesting is that this scene turns out to be kind of the culmination of Poe's arc. it's a reflection of his actions at the beginning of the movie he had no reason to decide to take massive losses yeah to do a suicide run just to take out one ship leia was right they just needed to leave and he's like no let's all die they kind of try to paint it as if he has learned his lesson now because he decides not to continue the battle he says no we're all gonna die out here everyone fall back. This is the one time where it actually would make sense to incur massive losses. Poe and the resistance are actually backed into a corner here. So if the advancing enemies are able to get

to them, they die. And yet this is where he decides to pull back. I never hated Poe before, but I do now. But there's a second part of his arc that comes right after this when Luke shows up. Luke shows up from Poe's perspective for no reason. But Poe is the one who realizes, no, no, Luke is doing this for a reason. He has realized, my leaders do mysterious things without telling us the plan. We need to figure out what the plan is without any communication. He's right. And he does figure it out. He's like, he's delaying them so we can escape through the tunnels that he didn't even know about. That's what he's doing. that's apparently what he's doing finn does not follow poe's orders and he decides i'm going to sacrifice myself to save everybody i'm gonna drive i'm gonna do my own holdo maneuver straight into that laser cannon this is also the culmination of rose's arc her sister was finn at the beginning

of the movie right her sister sacrificed herself the idiot following poe's orders yeah the idiot who followed poe's orders and destroyed the the dreadnought and now she sees finn and she sees this situation she's like i won't let this happen again but i'm just like no rose you just saved one guy so he can die in 10 minutes from now when they break down the door but i guess what it's trying to say is that if you just fight the fight to live for a few seconds longer you might find a different solution luke shows up right after his lightsaber was destroyed and he's holding his lightsaber. He uses Anakin's old lightsaber to fight Kylo. And that's just a hint that things aren't what they seem here. As a projection, you can not only project yourself, but you can also project any item you want. Yes. This is just my absolute favorite scene in the movie and one of my favorite scenes in all of Star Wars. The Luke versus Kylo fight scene is pure art. This is the

coolest luke ever gets to be like he's kind of a whiny blonde as boba says whoa yeah this is some of the best lightsaber dueling that we get it's not over the top twirling flipping around like the prequels it's kylo fighting and he's fighting to kill because that's his style like he just slashes and slashes and luke just avoids every hit and it's amazing and even more importantly This is such an incredibly cool way for Luke to use immense force powers, like to show the power of the Skywalker name to just beat and humiliate Kylo Ren without turning it into like a superpower. Like they could have had Luke show up in the flesh and like fly around and then like grab an AT-AT and throw it at Kylo. And I'm sure they would have if this was like a video game or directed by someone who was not so insightful. But they didn't. They decided to use his immense powers to do a trick. And this is exactly how the

force should be portrayed for a light side user. Not raw power, but it's tricks and confusion, which are what the Jedi do. Yes. So fantastic. It's just the ultimate way to end this movie. It's amazing. Yeah, no, I love that scene. So we're talking about the rise of Skywalker. Kind of a hot mess, but it's like an enjoyable one. The only thing that I truly enjoyed was it established as canon hyperspace skipping. Hyperspace skipping is supposed to be like the most difficult thing you can ever do. And if you try it, you'll just die. And it's because it's, you know, rapidly entering and leaving hyperspace like as quick as possible. And you have to be, you know, really careful and also really good at quickly establishing like a route. Well, I was confused because the TIE fighters following him can do it too. And I thought it was like a huge undertaking to track someone through hyperspace. I know, that's the only thing is that the TIE fighters just do it too and come on.

Well, and like the whole point of the last movie was that they needed like a big ship to be tracking them through hyperspace. Only the flagships could be tracking them. Dakota Fanning's character in this movie, she's one of the random rebels, has changed her hair to match Princess Leia's. And I think this is to make up for being on Poe's side and betraying Princess Leia in the last movie. Oh, that was nice of her. She's like showing fealty. You might think that Palpatine's plan is maybe a little ridiculous in this movie. Somehow, Palpatine returned. Yeah, I love that line. He has a massive other army called the Final Order, in addition to his First Order. But this actually fits with his MO because he likes to create two different armies, one One with a leader who is him, and another with a leader who is not him, who he plans to have killed, which was Snoke. Yeah, it also matches the way that Sith do things, because there's always two.

There's always two. But the two of them are always looking for a replacement, and trying to train up a replacement, and trying to kill the other one. I love the rule of two. It's such a good... Me too. Dude, I love Sith philosophy. The Sith are so great. It just makes me happy. It's amazing. Keeps them on their toes. Yeah, well, it ensures that the most powerful is always the one in charge. Rey has just been hanging out with Leia, I guess, training. And Poe is mad about that because he's like, Rey, you're the best. You should come with us. Before she leaves, she says to Leia, there's so much I wanted to tell you. But she's just been chilling with Leia this whole time. Why didn't she tell her? Everyone's mad at her for not going on missions. What was she doing if not telling her the things she wanted to tell her? actress actually died so yeah I think it was like she's she's foreseeing the future she knows it's

going to die Kylo and Rey are still like mind bridging force projecting in this movie even though Snoke ain't doing it anymore the only explanation they give is that they have a duality of the force when they meet Lando he says give Leia my love and Rey says you should give it to yourself he kind of gets a look on his face and I feel like he wanted it to be more than just platonic love I think he's thinking now that Han Solo's out of the way well of course he is he land of freaking Calrissian he's the universe's biggest player like he tries to get with his own daughter later in this movie like he's the man is just out for whatever he can do we want to talk about that because it's such a confusing ending for this movie I don't know what was happening there Shana sits down next to him and it's like where are you from everyone everyone is instantly thinking is she his daughter why else would she be asking where he's from he's gotta be thinking it

too then he gives her like a flirty look he's like where are you from let's find out together together baby i know it's why are they hitting on that he's he can't help it he hits on any woman that moves but yeah that's the question is he just hitting on her or are they trying to imply he's gonna help random people find where they're from which why would he do that i kind of think that they were trying to set up maybe like a mini series where lando and that girl team up they gave him that line for that reason i think that the actor is just such a sexy sexy man that he couldn't deliver that line without it being unbelievably everything he says it's just so flirty yes lando saves the day in this movie by just bringing a massive fleet of everyone yeah in the galaxy just everyone well and that's the meme right is that when leia asks for help nobody comes but when lando asks for help everybody comes that's what i was gonna say

This Lando, he's like, we're all going to save the galaxy together, baby. And then you're like, hell yeah, Lando, I'm in. I don't care if I'm your daughter. I don't care if Lando asks me. No, that's just what I love is that they literally just needed someone with charisma to ask. And they could have had a resistance force. And I love that meme because it's funny. I hate it, though, because it undermines Leia's one thing, which is, help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope, right? She asked for help and help comes. And I'm like, come on. She asked for help and Kenobi comes. That's it. I can't believe that they made Kenobi. And she kept asking who he was. Who are you? You did not say, my name is Obi-Wan Kenobi and I'm your only hope. That would have been mind-bogglingly good. It would have set up and given so much more meaning to her saying those words to him 20 years later when she desperately needed help.

It would have been a callback to that time when she was a kid and he rescued her from being like kidnapped and so meaningful to him because he would have remembered that. And then he would have heard those words and been like, well, now I have to go help her. And he would have remembered that that was the one time he left Tatooine. That was the one time he left Luke. And he's like, well, I've got to do it again. That little Leia needs me. you know it would have been so perfect if he had just said to her i'm obi-wan kenobi and i'm your only hope they had to have thought of it that seems like the entire point of the series yeah and it must have been someone at some point thought it was too cheesy or something them not doing that shows that the people who are running star wars right now do not understand star wars because that's the exact kind of thing i don't care how cheesy it is i don't care how

corny it is that's the exact kind of thing that fans eat up we love that george lucas would do it Like, Star Wars fans cannot agree on anything. And Star Wars fans hate Star Wars. But Star Wars fans love lines that are callbacks. All of them love that. Every single fan loves that. There's a moment in The Rise of Skywalker where they sink into quicksand. And it's totally cool because it just leads to some caverns. What are they sinking about, though? Well, Finn is sinking about something that he really wants to tell. I wish he would have said it. He says, Ray, I never told you. I think he was going to follow that up with, I'm in love with Poe. Because he wanted to tell someone. You know, Ray is his buddy, his girlfriend. He talks to her about these things. He only says this line, Ray, I never told you, after he sees that Poe has already sunk. He didn't want to tell her in front of Poe. That would have been embarrassing.

Yeah, of course. He's like, I can't say it. Poe's still out here. We know that he was going to tell Ray something about Poe. How do we know that? Because when they're down in the cavern, Ray asks, what didn't you tell me? And he's like, uh, I'll tell you later. And then Poe, sounding offended, says, you mean when Poe's not here? So he knows it's something about him. He senses that. It was clearly intended to be that he was like madly in love with Ray. He was going to be like, I love you. And he doesn't want to say it in front of Poe because like that's embarrassing. he doesn't want to profess his love for a girl in front of you know his guy friend well this comes back though in the star destroyer they're about to be killed as they're about to die poe says to fin what were you going to tell ray like he's really stuck on this he's about to die and he wants to know i think it's because he knows that finn was going to confide his feelings about poe and he

wants finn to tell him that before he dies they need to profess their love i got you random note c-3po can't translate sith which might seem stupid but the rule was passed by the senate of the old republic which yeah i gotta give a little clap crafty palpatine added again he didn't want his protocol droids to translate sith well right because we know that palpatine is the senate so if this rule was passed by palpatine either way this is infinitely less stupid than the ancient dagger being a map of the newly crashed death star well it's also a map from a certain angle an arbitrary point yeah she doesn't go anywhere specific no just like this random spot uh ray fights palpatine and she ends up hearing voices of all the jedi's past ones you may not have even really thought about like luminara unduli has a line uh adi gallia has a line of course makes windu which means ahsoka ahsoka's dead well ahsoka's old voice

actor is dead at least we don't know about the the new actor no but while these people are talking uh anakin says bring back balance ray as i did i think it's a great thing for ghost anakin to say he's like i was so great wasn't i i brought i was the chosen one i brought balance to the force i mean it's very anakin like that is how he saw himself i guess i wasn't like this evil sith who killed tons of people but he did bring balance there were only two sith and he made it so there were much less jedi i don't think that vader ever believed that he did the wrong thing i think that he just killed the emperor because that's what sith do yes i think he was just taking over he's chance all right my master is having a week pretty sure luke will be my apprentice yes no that's i truly believe that's what he was doing he was like i got my apprentice right here i can kill my master i'm a sith this is my job like i have to do it and then sadly he died so he's like all

right luke it's up to you you're the sith now and luke's like what i don't understand but no i don't think that vader ever felt bad about what he did he felt like the galaxy needed a dictator to prosper and he also felt like the galaxy was prospering under him and palpatine so and he was a very like ends justify the means kind of guy so yeah doesn't matter how many younglings i slaughter but he thought that those atrocities were okay right like he thought that i'm okay having done this so and i believe that that's how he force ghosted like he's like yeah i'm a good guy i brought the galaxy balance it's all about personal belief yes it is i think all you have to do is believe that you were great and you can force ghost because he shouldn't have known how to force ghost he didn't learn it from qui-gon not have learned it qui-gon didn't teach him i hope obi-wan didn't teach him when would obi-wan have taught him he was a force ghost for a long time

he could have been appearing to vader and be like no anakin here's how you force ghost i'll teach you and he's like shouldn't you be teaching my son like i don't like your little voice anakin the prequels enhance the character of vader because i see him as anakin now and he's just so anakin you just picture his deep voice saying all these bratty things like don't choke on your aspirations director i know he's so anakin like you can totally picture little anakin saying stupid things like that and thinking he's so cool and just wishing he had an awesome you know sweet voice box leather cape he's so wizard palpatine is defeated by his own lightning reflected back at him by lightsabers which you have to point out is we know that is his weakness yeah so good good i support it it's his Achilles heel. One of the last shots is Finn hugging Poe and Rey, but he's in between them. And I think that's to show that, you know, it's kind of like it could go either way.

Like we choose as an audience. Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah. At the very end, I believe that Rey is really confused when she gives herself the name Rey Skywalker. I think that she thinks Ben's last name was Skywalker and she thinks that because they kissed, they are now married. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's the best explanation I've got because I had no idea why she was calling herself Skywalker at the end. No, she's like, we kissed, now we're married. She's got like a very childlike view of that sort of thing. She grew up alone on a desert. She doesn't know how marriage works. Like she's like, yeah, after you kiss, you're married. You're married. I'm Rey Skywalker, which wasn't his last name, but I forgot about that because everyone's calling him Skywalker. There is a featurette on this movie that talks about Warwick Davis. Wait, sorry. The W is silent. It's Arwick Davis. Arwick. No.

That was the best thing to come out of the new Willows show. Right. He's trying to teach the new actors in the making of Willows show how to pronounce his name. he says no it's the w is silent because they're saying warwick and they say arwick which is exactly what you think because why would you think the second w is silent oh boy anyway arwick davis that's all i have finn and poe do you think they were in love with each other i can definitely believe that finn and poe have the hots for each other because i think that it's cute so there you go i don't know they're fun characters they i mean they just they have chemistry together yes they do hey and if you like what we do and you want to hear more of it then uh check out our patreon and you know any sort of support you want to offer us we'd greatly appreciate and remember the popcorn isn't real

In a world of shadows and dreams Nothing is quite what it seems We're the fools in a midnight reel The popcorn isn't real Chasing clues through the silver screen Wishing for a tale that's unseen Hold my hand through this hazy spiel The popcorn isn't real Behind the curtain, there's nothing to feel The popcorn isn't real Caught in a moment that will never heal The popcorn isn't real We craft your fiction within fiction's mind Searching for secrets we'll never find Every clue, just a future we steal The popcorn isn't real We whisper theories, but they all fade A fleeting ghost in a midnight parade Holding on to that surreal appeal The popcorn isn't real Behind the curtain There's nothing to feel The popcorn isn't real Caught in a moment That will never heal The popcorn isn't real

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