Ron cast the Imperius Curse on Hermione!

So if Hermione's parents are dentists, why did she have buck teeth? They're not magical. No, but dentists can flatten out buck teeth. Yeah, so can Madame Pomfrey. Oh, you're right. She did. All right. You proved me wrong, I guess. What you're forgetting is that they are British dentists. So they don't do anything. No, no. Stop insulting the British. No, like they clean your teeth. British dentists clean your teeth. but they don't do braces. That's true. They're not orthodontists. In my experience, it is true that European dentists do care much more about tooth health rather than tooth cosmetics. I'm sure she had very healthy teeth. Plus, she was always like just casting like the Obliviate curse on them. And they just had no idea what they were doing. From the time she was literally a baby. I did see a meme once where someone was asking, why are British people's teeth so bad? And then the next post was saying, I think Hermione has something to do with that.

And it was just Hermione obliviating her parents. They were the only dentists in Britain. You know, based on Slughorn's response in this movie, they may have been the only dentists in Britain because he certainly hadn't ever heard of a dentist. Not just Slughorn, but like those two Slytherin twins. Everyone in the room is like, what? when she says dentist and she has to explain they're people who clean your teeth hello and welcome to the popcorn isn't real i'm leif eric i'm here with torvald and brida i'm brida oh i'm torvald so this is the latest in our harry potter saga where we are uh striving to uncover the deepest darkest secrets in the depth of the harry potter series namely we're focusing on a couple of the most famous and kind of most divisive fan theories number one that ron cast the imperious curse on Hermione at some point during their time at Hogwarts, causing her to fall for him

despite him never having ever treated her with anything but contempt. The other theories are that Hagrid was a Death Eater, or at least working with the Death Eaters. He's a dark wizard spy extraordinaire. And along with that, that Dumbledore is evil, that he was building up an army of wizards to support him. I would add that he's not competently evil like Hagrid is. yeah he's quite incompetently evil yeah he's he's a better strategist i think we've shown much smarter than dumbledore as we all know the last theory is that snape was in fact harry's father that he was harry's biological dad we do have a trigger warning on all of these episodes if you really like ron you really like dumbledore you really hate snape we're going to be painting some of possibly your favorite characters in a dark light hagrid ron dumbledore etc so harry potter and the half-blood prince which is i think the best title for all of the harry potter books and

movies this title is like the longest unsolved mystery of a book like you yeah you spend the whole time find out like the last paragraph whereas like in the fourth one you're spending the whole time being like wait wait so the goblet of fire and the triwizard cup were different different things i don't understand yeah this movie begins in a surprisingly green tinted cafe weird right where harry is reading a wizard newspaper in public he doesn't care no you can't trace this ministry it's not like i get called into the ministry at the beginning of every year and either expelled or like given a commendation so yeah the waitress she's hitting on harry right i mean harry seems maybe like he's interested in her he doesn't ever actually ask anyone out except for povarty in this entire series and then she's like 11 that's when i get off and dumbledore takes him away from that date but it was a pretty late time to have a date yeah unless it was like 11 in the morning yeah get off 11 in

the morning we'll have brunch very dark dark city all the time it's a dark day in london but in the movie version it seems that harry has run away from the jerseys and just doesn't go back so he doesn't get his moment of like reconciliation with dudley there was a scene that was filmed i don't know whether it was in this one or the seventh one i think it's in the seventh one but yeah it got cut it kind of raises the stakes a little more painting him as like basically on his own now right so i get it just like hermione's been since fifth year poor hermione mind controlled into obliviating her parents so she could live with her captor i'm not sure that's what happened but maybe i've got some points for the dumbledore is evil theory um he sure looks like a dark wizard when he shows up and gives harry an evil ghost jump scare and then what's the first thing he says he's like hey harry want to see my evil hand

and shoves it in Harry's face. It's a pretty cool story to go with this evil hand. I ain't gonna tell you, though. I don't tell you anything, Harry. They have to go meet Horace Slughorn in a random muggle house. Except Harry doesn't know this is what they're doing. No. More points for Dumbledore is evil. He could just tell Harry why they're here. He could tell Harry all this. He just randomly apparates Harry into this dangerous-looking house with no knowledge and says, one's out and then starts yelling horace horace without harry knowing anything about what they're going on and then he's like time to lick some blood off harry's face i mean double this is being really weird this whole scene he does use a pretty cool fix everything right now spell on this house that he could totally use way more often because it's a pretty powerful spell yeah i know he could use that on harry's like childhood on his life yeah i thought you're just gonna say on harry's

childhood bring lily and james back exactly geez dumbledore come on get it together uh but wait what i was gonna say about dumbledore being evil on this scene less than just like crazy evil and more in the more calculated uh is that the way that he chooses horace slughorn to be the potions professor for this year is just because like well i need him right for this really personal project that yes he does want to like take down voldemort and maybe that's for the good of everyone but like it has nothing to do with who would be a great professor at school and like who would take care of these children and be the best for them and i think that gives a lot of insight into why dumbledore has chosen the various defensive against the dark arts teachers that he's gotten every year it's just like he does these things for personal reasons yeah definitely i think he must have known Dumbledore was coming and like messed up the house right before he got

there, right? Because otherwise he was just sitting in a broken house pretending to be a chair for like a week until he moves to a new place and does the same thing. It's quite a life. This is his life. He's the chairman now. Well, I'm the chairman of this muggle's house. That's all he does. Dumbledore takes Harry to the borough. No, he doesn't take Harry to the borough. No, he doesn't. He throws Harry into a puddle in front of the burrow. Ginny finds Harry's stuff and she looks upstairs and Molly appears and she asks, when Harry got here? Molly says, I would know if Harry was in my house. And then Ron appears and says, I would know if my best friend was in my house. And then Hermione appears above them. And I thought that Ginny should have asked them, when did Hermione get here? And both Molly and Ron said, I would know if Hermione was in our house. wow i mean what is hermione doing there why is she lives there i think they do say she got there

like a week or two ago but yeah she just is homeless she clearly lives there it was pretty forced that they try and have there be a relationship between harry and jinny every single scene of it is painful to watch it is and like she runs and gives him a hug like a hug for Ginny the girl he's never spoken to outside of the chamber of secrets but like granted she's a friend of his family like I can see them hugging but like if you look at these hugs like Ginny walks up and gives him like the like barest little oh hi hug and then Hermione rolls over and gets one of her classic Hermione hugs she just like throws her arms around and so happy to see him now I do want to say a note about just the whole Ginny relationship I don't think they really knew what to do with her character. So they try to give her a personality in this one. And it's a weird personality. But I say this as a Ginny fan. In the books, I loved Ginny.

She was one of my favorite characters. She's just fine in the books. I was so into the Harry-Ginny relationship. Like in the books, it actually felt like it was kind of built up. And I was like, oh, like there was something in every single book where there was just like these little hints here and there. And then when it finally happens in the sixth book, I was like, whoa, that's so great. That's so cool. In the movie, because there have been no hints until this point. Everything about it is really weird. I also think one of the other problems is that all of this teenage flirting was written by, like, old men. And so they think that, like, teenagers flirt by, like, women feeding men cookies just randomly and kneeling down to tie their shoe for no reason at all. Oh my gosh, we'll get into, yeah. How weird Ginny is. She has the strangest. No, I think it's Ginny, though. I think they were trying to say something about Ginny herself.

They gave her this character where she's like this weird, bearish lady who's just like really forceful, but also doesn't really know quite how to flirt. So she's like, I'm supposed to be like subservient, right? So she's like, she is subservient, but in a very forceful way. And Harry just stands there ridiculously confused and uncomfortable the whole time. She's like, what's she doing to me? There's a really cool mirrored scene here. Ron, right after Hermione gives Harry a big hug, He exactly mirrors Dumbledore's action when he licked the blood off of Harry's face as he licks the toothpaste off of Hermione's face. Okay, in both of these scenes, they did not lick it off of their face. They got it off their finger and then licked it. You're just painting a very different picture of Dumbledore and Ron. Yeah, Harry right now is the object of Dumbledore's desires. He knows Harry's the last Horcrux.

You know, Ron, Hermione's the object of his desires. He wants her subservience. Sure, sure. So the next scene starts with Narcissa walking through the streets and Bellatrix telling her not to do this. And she goes to visit a house, knocks on the door, and Wormtail opens the door and shows her in to see Snape. And I'm like, why is Wormtail living at Snape's house? I like Snape's servant now.

Went back to the Dark Lord at Dumbledore's request, and that means he gets a servant. Well, not just any servant, he gets Wormtail. Wormtail is the servant. He's the best servant. He lives to be a servant. Snape is so cool, like flicking Wormtail out the door. First Narcissus is like, I know I'm not to be here. The Dark Lord forbade me to speak of this. And he cuts her off and is like, if the Dark Lord has forbidden it, then you are not to speak. Put it down, Bella. We mustn't touch what isn't ours. He's just, like, ordering both of them around like little children, whereas they have both been, like, top of the top dark wizards until this scene. This is Bellatrix Lestrange. She just got out of Azkaban. Like, Bellatrix is freaking insane. Like, that's her personality trait is that she's crazy. And she just does it. Like, she just puts it down and kind of rolls her eyes. Then Snape, he says, over the years, I've played my part so well.

So well, in fact, that I've deceived one of the greatest wizards of all time. He's not talking about Dumbledore. He's talking about Voldemort. So our theory for Snape is basically that he never lies once in any of these movies. He is cursed to only tell the truth, I think. He just drinks Veritaserum for breakfast. Well, he does it for fun. How difficult could I make today as a double agent for the bad guy? He's like, I know how good I am. This wouldn't even be a challenge if I didn't take this potion every morning. Wow. In the next scene, Diagon Alley is completely deserted because people are just terrified of Death Eaters. But the twins' joke shop is just hopping. And I noticed that in the twin shop, they have a toy of umbrage that just alternates between saying, I will have order, and I really hate children. They didn't even hear her say that. I'm sure they heard stories, though. Hermione is handling and intently studying the love potions, along with Ginny.

What's she going to do with those? Didn't you have a theory that Ginny was also, like, imperious-ing Harry, or maybe used a love potion on him yeah there are some things you could twist to hint in this movie that perhaps Ginny put a love potion on Harry Ginny is definitely going to use them on Harry yeah she definitely has an interest it's kind of out of nowhere that he's suddenly in love with her well now her brothers say she doesn't need any help because she's dating Dean yeah because they don't want to give it away like they know what she's doing they're good brothers they're like oh yeah yeah no she'd never use a love potion but no what I was going to say about this scene and actually a scene a little bit further along where slughorn introduces the most powerful love potion in the world or whatever to his students both times there is just like a gaggle of girls gathered around it who are like oh and i was like i feel like this is just very sexist right just

like only girls are interested in love and also they were they all want potions to just force people to fall in love with them all guys are just like david yates is like ew exactly yeah he It was like, girls are gross. They just want to force men to fall in love with him. Glad we didn't get David Yates on this episode. We tried. The next scene is on the train. Dude, Malfoy taking on Harry Potter all alone. Like, what a friggin' badass. He's not a coward. He makes everyone leave and then decides to confront Harry all alone. Certainly the other Slytherins would have had no problem helping him beat up Harry. No. Like at this point, he has no additional reason to suspect Malfoy aside from we saw him at Borgin and Burks and he's like, aha, I see him on the train now. I'm just going to follow him for no real reason. And also, honestly, I think it's pretty good evidence that he is a Death Eater and there's no reason why he wouldn't be.

He's the son of a Death Eater. So when Hermione's like, Harry is under the impression that Draco has become a Death Eater, I'm like, it's not that unlikely, Hermione. you more than anyone Hermione know that the death eaters are back yeah like she's a little little off for being so aloof about that so Harry apologizes to Luna for making her miss the carriages away from the train because she was busy saving him she says oh that's all right it was like being with a friend Harry says I am your friend Luna and Luna replies that's nice what does this conversation mean i mean my assumption is that like she didn't think she was harry's friend yeah and i kind of think that she still doesn't like she's kind of like you're saying that to be nice like we don't hang out outside of class or outside of the da like when was the last time we'd spoken harry before i saved your life right i kind of feel like that's what

they took on death eaters last year in the ministry like exactly the last time yeah i agree But yeah, I think that's kind of her idea is that like outside of Dumbledore's army, you and I have never really interacted. I kind of felt like it was trying to just round out the idea that relationships are forming and possibly Harry even might like Luna a little bit because this is deepening their relationship. And then later in the movie when he's like, oh, I have to go to dinner with someone. Who should I invite? He's like, Luna, of course I'll invite Luna. She's the one I want to go on a date with. Judging by these filmmakers' ability to create relationships that are believable in kids, I might agree with that. Yeah, that might actually be true. The next scene, him and Luna, they miss the carriages, they're walking past, and they've run into Filch doing a check of all the students' belongings, which makes zero sense, right?

Dumbledore put the elderly Squibb in charge of checking all the students' belongings for magical stuff. Dumbledore, what are you doing? He just loves doing this to Filch. I think he gets some sick satisfaction when Filch can't do his job. He's like, look at that stupid squib. He thinks he can check for magic items. He can't do that. He doesn't have magic. He cares more about making fun of Filch than he has ever cared about student safety. Harry Potter literally just up and disappeared from his best friends on an enclosed train. And they never saw him again. And Hermione is rightfully freaking out about this because where could he have gone? She gets mad that Ron is just stuffing his face with food. Ron is stuffing his face and ignoring her. Yes. When Harry shows up, Ginny comments, he's covered in blood again. Why is he always covered in blood? How often has Ginny seen Harry covered in blood?

I also was going to say that. The one time they interacted in the Chamber of Secrets. Yeah, I was going to say that would have to be the only time. Ron is the only one who doesn't care that Harry is covered in blood. He just comments, at least it's his own this time. That's worse. It's not better, Ron. So Dumbledore gives a long speech, the point of which is, while there may be dark forces outside of Hogwarts, the greatest dark forces are the students at Hogwarts. Yes, I was going to comment on this as well, once again, to the dark Dumbledore theory and him just being crazy. He seems to give the speech just to scare the students. Like, let's start the year off with a good horror story. about Tom Riddle, who is a real person who might kill you right now. Snape finally became the Defense of the Dark Arts teacher. Yes. And we don't get a single shot of him actually teaching. I'm so mad about that.

I was also very disappointed by that. I was like, seriously? In potions class, Harry and Ron fight over who gets the newer looking potions book. Ron, of course, wins and Harry gets the really beat up one. When Slughorn asks her about love potions, Hermione says love potions smell different to each person that smell it based on what attracts them. She says that she smells freshly mown grass, new parchment, and spearmint toothpaste. She just describes Harry Potter. Does that not describe Harry? Like, the borough where Ron lives has never had freshly mown grass. No, yeah, I wouldn't have that. Whistlers don't even use lawnmowers, I don't think. Harry, on the other hand, grew up in the suburbs where every single house has freshly mown grass. And Harry has lots of money, so he can always afford new parchment. Ron, on the other hand, is always using probably the old leftover parchment from the year before.

And as far as Spearmint Toothpaste goes, Hermione is the daughter of two dentists. So obviously that makes sense why she would like that. But wizards don't know what toothpaste is. They don't know what dentists are, as we learn in a later scene. Well, apparently Ron does, because he licked it off her face, as Sorvald said. But I'm sure their version of toothpaste is like some weird Horking Pastels toothpaste or something like that. Horking Pastels? i don't know that's the worst name some wizarding sounding thing but like she specifically says spearmint which is a muggle brand toothpaste which is not a brand it's a flavor right but harry would know it don't you buy spearmint brand toothpaste brita no i do okay so harry opens up his cool new book that's very old and it says it is the property of the half-blood prince he's using his dad's book yes we will find out at the end of it the half-blood prince is snape

and i just wanted to point out like what a total dork he'd have to be to give himself that nickname come on it was it was just him no one liked him dude no all of his bullies gave themselves stupid names they called them padfoot and worm tail he's like well i'm the half-blood prince so there yeah presumably whoever made these recipes is like oh here's how it works and snape took them and like tried every conceivable combination and variation 10 beans doesn't work and 14 beans doesn't work but if you put 13 yeah that's slightly better than the 11 that the book said snape was such a cool master potion brewer and how could you test how effective a drought of living death is he must have killed so many animals we've got to go over this so slughorn drops a leaf into the potion that harry made and it sort of burns up he says it's so perfect it might kill us all that's not what the draught of living death does it's a powerful sleeping potion

it's a good thing harry has snape's book because slughorn's an idiot that's also why he can't help ron when ron is poisoned later that's true i have one last question about the advanced potion making book why did snape just leave it in the classroom for harry it wasn't there until this year he put it there for harry okay yes he wanted harry to learn from him we talked about this before but i did just want to say again that the way that he excels in potions this year really just proves that if he'd ever paid any attention to snape snape was an amazing potions master yeah he was He was an amazing potions master who could have taught him so much, but Harry just never paid even the slightest bit of attention. They have a really amazing match cut at the end of the scene where they show Harry holding the Half-Blood Prince's old potions textbook. They match cut to Dumbledore picking up the old Tom Riddle diary that was destroyed in the second movie.

Yep. So first, Dumbledore just randomly says to Harry, I can't help but notice you spend an awful lot of time with Miss Granger. I can't help but wonder if, and then Harry cuts him off to say, no, no, no, she's brilliant. but we're just friends you think dumbledore was going to ask i can't help but wonder if she's under an unforgivable curse no he's saying it was a subtle hint well what would that have to do with harry and hermione spending a lot of time together good friends with her is she acting weird you're really good friends with her i can't help but wonder if you noticed anything weird about her suddenly being into ron instead of you yes there you go that's exactly what he was gonna ask too bad he didn't like push a little harder on that line of questioning when harry obviously didn't understand he doesn't really care about hermione i thought it was interesting that tom riddle's orphanage uses the exact same wall tiles as the ministry of magic exactly cardboard black

and green colored walled tiles that are supposed to look like tile but are really just cardboard Dumbledore didn't know this was an important memory at the time. Right, it's clearly a doctored memory. It is. So this is in the flashback. Young Tom Riddle tells Dumbledore that he can make the other kids hurt if he wants to. Dumbledore says, well, I'm like you, Tom.

And when Tom asks if speaking to snakes is normal, the memory cuts off. Just like Slughorn's memory. Just like Slughorn's doctored memory. I thought the same thing. i think he was gonna be like you can talk to snakes that's great okay so are we ready to move on to quidditch tryouts yeah ron is so just ah he's so imperious this scene starts with everyone kind of fighting randomly i don't know what they're fighting about jenny's out shot it yeah i just hate how they decided jenny's personality is that she's like loud and mean every once in a while which is a totally odd change from being like quiet and totally unnoticeable in all the previous movies cormac catches a fly out of the air and steals ron's girl in one fluid motion he's like the coolest guy ever so cormac says i wouldn't mind getting on a first name basis you know what i mean he says this like he's a total player badass but like to an american this

is the most british sissy way to say that sort of thing in the whole world like first name basis are you kidding me just call her by her first name that's not like such a playa that is one of those cultural differences that if you don't understand it just seems ridiculous it's like you're not a badass dude at least if you move to america every british person i've known has called me by my first name maybe it's private school i don't know they probably think torvald is your last name it's possible yeah so the scene starts and ron is doing fairly poorly And then he uses his puppet to cheat for him. Cormac, of course, is doing great because he caught a fly in with his bare hands. And so she quickly under her breath shouts, Confundus. And he is moved to the side so that he misses a goal. And yeah, this is something that is so massively out of character for Hermione. She would never do that.

And later when she thinks that Harry is cheating, she says, well, that was just a tryout. This is an actual match. And I'm like, yeah, but that tryout determined who got on the team. Like you can't pretend that's not important. It should have been like maybe a practice match. And then later in the common room, Ron is gloating over his control of Hermione, saying how he's such a good keeper, pointing out to her that Cormac has a thing for Hermione. As she is being controlled by Ron, she's forced to say he's vile, when clearly this comment is aimed at Ron himself. She doesn't say Cormac is vile. Ron, you don't need to sit here telling everyone how great you are. They all saw it. They can make their own conclusions. They were there. Also, it's not like you weren't going to get on the team. You are best friends with the captain. He was going to choose you no matter what, Ron. Just tell him to.

If this movie proves anything, it's that Harry is only as good as the person giving him instructions, which is why he's so good at potions now. It's true. You're right. He's good at following instructions. If Ron just tells him to let him on the team, Harry will do it. And then he says the weirdest thing. He's like, I like a nice chat before bed. Right, right. Now all you do is read that bloody book. It's just like being with Hermione. Right. Okay. So this is a very odd remark. Considering Hermione lives with him now. Yes. So I'm not quite sure what he's saying or what he wants Harry to do with him before bed. I don't know. What does he want, Harry? He's like, it's like being with someone who's completely uninterested in me. Like Hermione.

Uh, is this also the scene where Ginny mentions, like, Harry's taking orders from a book? I just always thought that was a good tie-in. I always liked all the parallels between the second book and the sixth book. I think this is later when they're walking through the snow together, but, like, they're both just being really mean to Hermione for, like, using libraries and wondering who the Half-Blood Prince is. And I'm just like, you know, last time Harry had a crazy book, it was pretty bad. There's nothing wrong with Hermione wanting to learn about this. yeah and so that's the next scene they're walking to hogsmeade ostensibly and i just want to point out that in this movie and in no other butterbeer actually seems to get people drunk yes slughorn comes over and is just like sloshing it on the table and be like sorry i got you there he doesn't have butterbeer he has alcohol right well no but as they're walking away and hermione is like

Walking zigzagged and laughing and putting her arms around the voice. But in the previous scene, she poses a hypothetical question to Ron saying, what if Jenny looked over here and saw you snogging me? Ron doesn't answer. And then Hermione just chugs her butterbeer after making this comment. After it's gone. She's really sad to have foam on her face. Right. She's just like shocked and offended when Ron points it out. And then they're walking back and she's the only one who's drunk because she's the only one who chugged her butterbeer. They didn't even touch theirs. I mean, she's, you know, zigzagging, walking around, throwing her arms up, giving them hugs, you know, doing lots of stuff. And as she does this, they're talking about her, like right in front of her. Like she can't hear them, like they know how drunk she is or something. I just didn't understand it. I was like, why is she acting weird?

And why are they acting like she's not here? But he says, did you hear what she was saying back at the pub about me and her snogging? As if, like, Ron is very consistently not interested in Hermione. He just likes controlling her, I guess. But so we have this cute scene of them being weird. And then we get a sudden random genre switch and it turns into a horror movie briefly. Oh, I love this scene. This scene freaked me out so bad as a kid. I was like, why would they put this in here? Right. This young lady who looks just like iCarly, Miranda Cosgrove, puts on this necklace and blows up all creepy her name is actually katie not i carly so first she gets dragged back and forth around about on the snow just like jerkily dragged to one side and one into the other and then she flies up in the air and floats there with her hair like streaming out and her mouth open wide and it's very you know it'd be really hard for them to even know what's going on or how

dangerous it is unless an expert on dark magic showed up and that's what i was going to say next is that the person who shows up in this scene is Hagrid. And Hagrid quickly takes control of the scene and yells at them, don't touch that, except for the bindings, referring to the necklace that she had. It can't be touched except by the wrappings. How does he know that? I know. He's very well acquainted with what's going on here. He knows about cursed objects. He knows perfectly how to handle the scene, what to do with Katie, what to do with the cursed object. But how do you even explain this under the normal circumstances? He's the gamekeeper. He's the care of magical creatures. See your education.

Right after this scene, McGonagall asks Harry, Ron, and Hermione. She says, why is it when something happens, it's always you three? Seemingly forgetting that this event actually happened to Katie and Leanne. Yeah, it really didn't happen. Like, they weren't involved at all. No, not in any way. Like, technically, Hagrid's more involved than they were. Then Harry makes the very serious accusation that it was Drake. Yeah. With no evidence. Snape is so impressed by Harry. He is astonished. He says, once again, you astonish me with your gifts, Potter. Gifts mere mortals can only dream of possessing how grand it must be to be the chosen one. And he's totally serious because he is the only one who knows that Malfoy's trying to kill Dumbledore. And he doesn't even undercut this remark with anything. He's literally just praising Harry. He's like, holy crap, Harry. How do you know that? He's like, how do you have such good intuition?

Like, you're right. That was Malfoy. So moving on to the Slug Club. So they're all at this party and Slughorn is going through one person after another, talking about what their parents do. And he lands on Hermione and says, so what do your muggle parents do? So when Hermione tells everyone that her parents are dentists, Slughorn doesn't know what a dentist is. And the two Slytherin twins don't either. And you might think that this implies that there's no such thing as a dentist in the wizarding world, but that's not correct. All that this implies is that Slughorn is a disgusting, ungroomed shut-in who never learned how to care for his teeth. And these two Slytherins as well. We know that wizards know what a dentist is because dentist is one of the locations on Mrs. Weasley's clock telling her where her kids are. They clearly go to the dentist. and also when he wiped the toothpaste off her face no one was like what are you wiping off her face

they all knew what it was when he said it's toothpaste i will say no matter how gross he is you'd have to think that at least dentists are less common in the magic world for him to be able to not know what they are and live a life right like and be in a school he lives as a chair he he is a chair man right he doesn't ever go out yes that's right he's the chairman of the house of those muggles dude and speaking of weird people why would harry stands up when jenny sits down for dinner awkward weirdo he seems confused it used to be respectful to stand for ladies when they came into the room and then you sit at the table but it just seems crazy in this situation yeah and everyone seems to think it's crazy this is right after it is remarked that she's been crying because she and dean were fighting a lot and then harry seemingly stands up against his will i think perhaps this is evidence that she puts some kind of love potion

on him i think so too because she enters and he has a reaction yeah he's like what am i doing and they're like what are you doing he's like i guess i'll sit down then although later hermione's comment on it is although harry seemed to enjoy no no no no no she's not commenting on that so in the next scene ron jealously asks how was it then your dinner party and hermione says pretty boring actually and then turns and smiles seductively at Harry and says though I think Harry enjoyed dessert what did they do after that she was Harry's dessert to make Ron jealous maybe but later on we know that Ron gets a love potion and it's like really in your face it's obvious that he has a love potion I think that Ginny has used a better love potion on Harry that's a little more subtle and takes longer to really work on him. And I think that proof for that is that Ginny is in Slughorn's class. She's part of the Slug Club, so she must be really good at potions.

But we know he invites a lot of people into the Slug Club not because they're good at potions. Right, but she's a Weasley. Listen, but because they are really good at something or because they have famous relations. Now, her being a Weasley doesn't necessarily mean she'd get in. Ron didn't, right? Right. He's completely uninterested in Weasley. So she must be good at something. In the books, she is an extremely skilled Quidditch player who goes pro. And that's why he had that picture. The first one he mentions in the first scene we see a woman in the Hollyhead Harpies who he's like, oh, free tickets whenever I want them. I think that's why he picked Jiddy. But there is no evidence in the movies that she's like an insanely good Quidditch player. And there is evidence that she's in his potions class with Harry and Hermione. The same like she's with six years. She's in the sixth year potions class?

Yes, she's in the class with them. I didn't notice that. So she skipped a potions grade and is in advanced potions. Like the class that you can't even get into without the best grades. Yeah, no, I think that she must be a very good potions master. And I also want to point out who makes the love potions. Her brothers. It's Weasley's Wizards Wheezes that makes and sells love potions. So of course she would know how to do it. Right around this time, there's a Christmas party that they have to invite a friend to, and Ron controls Hermione into saying she was going to ask Ron to go with her to the Christmas party. That's my only explanation for that. Yeah, clearly. I think at this point you could just say maybe he's messed with her mind, he's given her an ongoing order to just be interested in him, and so she's like, oh, I was going to invite you. He doesn't seem to care at all, right? like he's neither like gloating about the fact nor excited about it nor anything like he's just

like all right so harry knows the only way he can get ron to believe in himself is to make ron believe he is cheating right which i think is pretty good he knows is his friend i just have to point out how unbelievably stupid it would have been to waste the felicitas on ron playing a quidditch match why cheated a quidditch match of all things when they've got like real stuff to deal with like wizard hitler coming back to life and trying to kill harry and everyone else but most importantly even if you look past all that and you decide that quidditch is the most important thing in the world and you want to cheat at quidditch you don't give liquid luck to the keeper he does nothing the quaffle is meaningless you give it to the seeker and win yourself Harry yes you would think but I will say somehow like Ron does get all the credit for this match like in the books prior to this the Slytherins were singing about Weasley is our king

because he always lets the Quaffle in and after this like he was a huge hero because of this match I don't know what he did as how it's because the students in the Harry Potter books don't know how the game works they all think that these points that are being scored matter but really it's just the seeker another point for gryffindor to distract us while we wait for the seeker to do anything so after this match ron kisses lavender brown hermione stares then walks away probably because she thinks that she's been set free yes then harry sits next to hermione on the stairs She's crying, probably with joy. Tears of joy, yeah. She's free of Ron. She asks Harry how it feels when he sees Dean with Jenny. Probably because she knows Jenny was also putting a love potion on Harry. They're in the same situation. I'm never sure whether you guys are making the argument that Hermione is aware she's under the Imperius Curse or she's not.

She's somewhat aware. She's becoming aware. We proved in the fourth one that you can be slightly aware of it, but not completely. evidence for her knowing that Ginny is bewitching Harry. She says, I know. I see the way you look at her. You're my best friend. I would know if someone's bewitching you, Harry. That is a terribly sad interpretation of that scene, given how this book series ends. It is so horrible. And then Harry tells her, it feels like this. And then he hugs her and she He puts her head on his shoulder. It feels just like this, the two of us being unable to be together. Yeah, right. This is the moment where they're like, I really wish we could be together. But the plot says we can't. We just can't. This is David Yates saying, I wish they could be together, but I can't go that far from the books. And it's not the only moment that they do that. David Yates clearly wanted them together, as did a lot of people.

To support this theory of the Weasleys being just like the world's scummiest wizarding family, I truly believe that Ron is giving Lavender love potions. I mean, she does act like it. She's acting just like Ron acts when he gets the love potion. That's true. In the next scene, Ron is explaining to Harry his amazing plan of how he has given her love potions. He says to Harry, what Lav and I have, well, let's just say there's no stopping it. It's chemical. Will it last? Who knows? He's describing that he slipped her a love potion. Yes, he's saying he slipped her a love potion. He's not sure how long it'll last, but he knows they can't stop it. Man, if this really is a Weasley product that they're selling, it is a long-lasting love potion. Well, but that's the thing. Is it reasonable for Ron to have slipped someone a love potion? You just pointed out that his brothers manufacture and sell love potions.

The Weasley family is full of unethical corruption and weirdness like this. Love potions really should be really, really illegal. And does Ron use potions for cheating at things? What did he literally just do? He took a potion to cheat at Quidditch. He tried to. Yeah, of course. Around this point, Hermione is genuinely sad when she realizes she could have asked Harry to go to the Christmas party with her. Yes. Then at the party, Hermione hides behind the curtains to have another romantic moment with Harry. While they're hiding behind the curtains, Hermione says, I've just escaped. She's clearly talking about what I previously hinted at, which was that she's just escaped Ron's influence. She's like, this is our chance, Harry. And then Cormac vomits on Snape's shoes. And Snape delivers this line so wonderfully. He's like, you just bought yourself a month's detention. Not so quick, Mr. Potter.

Because Harry tries to leave. Harry's leaving was pretty good, too. It really seems kind of cruel to give a kid who just puked detention. Like, he didn't do that on purpose, Snape. I think that the Christmas party is probably the best scene in this movie. And much of that credit goes to Snape because he came here just because he wants to wish Harry a happy holiday. Yep. I was going to say the same thing. Supposedly, he's there delivering a message from Dumbledore. Right, but that's just because he's weird and awkward about it. Yeah, that Dumbledore is away from the school. Why would Dumbledore need to tell Harry that, especially right before Christmas when Harry's going to leave the school? Dumbledore has never done that before. No, every other time they go to find him and they're like, oh, he's away. And they're like, oh, no. When Harry asks, traveling where? Snape just looks very awkward and then walks away.

OK, but the real explanation for that is that Dumbledore is searching for a horcrux. Well, sure, but that was just coincidental. Ah, yes. Yeah. Harry is having a very important conversation with Lupin Tonks and Mr. Weasley. Jenny awkwardly sits down and everyone leaves. Then she decides to feed Harry cookies. She does it with a command. She says, open up, you. Obviously, she's got him under some kind of spell here. And then Ron, who she learned from, comes into the scene with a giant plate of cupcakes and just sits between them. And then belatedly, it's like, kind of, you want one? And Harry's like, no. But I'm like, why would you have brought that many cupcakes if not to share? It's like my cupcakes.

Before going to bed, Ginny weirdly ties Harry's shoe because you need tied shoes to go to bed. I think that here, Ginny is weird. She's learned most of what she knows from Ron. And I think she's like, I'm going to treat my love toy slave better than Ron treats Hermione. So she's like, I'll make sure he's got tied shoes. Bellatrix Lestrange shows up and just starts setting things on fire. And even though all of the main adults are standing right at the door, somehow Harry's able to just slip through them. And they're all like, Harry, no. And can't stop him. I don't stop Harry. Just like cast a mobilist on him. Like so many things you could do. And then they have the world's most high stakes, low impact fight scene where they cut off all the music and just have like some grunting sounds. This is how David Yates does fight scenes. And that's how all their fight scenes are. Even in the seventh movie.

It's weird. Barely any sound. A little scuffling. Yeah. It's like he shoots all action scenes like it's one of the Bourne movies. But this isn't a Bourne movie. This is Harry Potter. It's so weird. And then the Weasleys just watched their house burn. They don't know any spells to put out fires. No, it's impossible. It's not like a house filled with wizards. If only they had the Brothers Grimm there, they could have put out the fire. Wow, they have fire putting out magic. Call back to one of our best episodes. Their magic is to wait until the fire goes out by itself. And that's what they did. And then the army was like, whoa, the fire went out. I really liked that episode. It was pretty good. What was our explanation that they had cut like a fire path behind the first row? It was a combination of that and waiting. Mostly waiting. But anyway, we need to talk about Harry Potter. Now, this is an important note because Hermione always goes to Christmas at Ron's most of the time.

She doesn't this year because she's free of him because he's dating Lavender. He doesn't care about her. And she's enjoying her time away from him so much that the first time she sees him after the Christmas break, she says, sorry, I have to go and vomit.

So Professor Slughorn tampered with a memory and Dumbledore tells Harry that. And he's like, you got to go. It's cool because Dumbledore sends Harry to go do the thing that Tom Riddle did. And Harry, once again, like the second movie, does it in the exact same way that Tom Riddle did. Dumbledore is like, hey, Harry, think of some way to do this tactfully. And he's like, well, I only know how to follow orders. So I saw Voldemort do it this way. I'll do it that way. So he goes to Slughorn and repeats this conversation word for word. As if that's not going to be the thing that will put him the most on his guard. So he won't share it with you. Then he goes home to his dormitory. And that's where we find Ron just pigging out on Harry's candy. Why would he eat all of Harry's candy? It's on Harry's bed and he ate them all. Well, supposedly he was just going to eat one. And then the love potion took effect.

made him eat them all so they go to slughorn to get ron cured and then ron gets poisoned because slughorn gives them alcohol yeah that was the most unbelievable thing about this was that slughorn decided to open his birthday gift for dumbledore to share it with two 16 year olds yeah it's england you know he specifically says after coming down off of the high of being on a love spell that ron needs something to lift his spirits and apparently he thinks that the thing to do with that is this very special alcohol i mean i think lupin is a much better teacher because he just gives you chocolate but no chocolates were what gave him the one thing they couldn't use okay okay so then uh ron collapses rupert grint gets to do some great convulsion acting yeah then harry very intelligently remembers something that he read in the book just stick a bezoar down their throat yeah shoves it down his throat after ron comes out of this

extremely bad poisoned state he was in the first thing he says is these girls are going to kill me i think in his weakened state he's realizing that the girls he's been cursing like hermione and lavender might try to kill him if he is ever in a weakened state like yeah he's like i better start cursing her again. Or maybe he even thought that's what was going on there. Like he doesn't know why they got poisons. Maybe he's like, I let my control slip on Hermione and she poisoned me. Exactly. No, I think this is why he reasserts control over Hermione right after this scene. Pretty gross that he's moaning Hermione in his sleep. That's how we know he's reasserting control over her. So he's muttering weird incantations under his breath and saying Hermione. So then immediately after that he tries to question katie bell about the necklace he fails and then he sees malfoy run away and then it should

be the most exciting intense scene in the movie but is instead boring and lifeless malfoy runs into i believe moaning myrtle's bathroom and just starts crying in front of a mirror and i wanted to point out that i feel like this is really the movie where tom felton gets to show off his acting chops like he does such a good job of being like you know cool badass malfoy who will just you know curb stomp Harry and then at the same time like very very scared and confused Malfoy who's like I'm a 16 or 17 year old who's supposed to murder the greatest wizard in the world yeah the most powerful wizard in the world what am I gonna do so we do have to talk about the bathroom fight scene because this is the thing that makes this movie bad in my opinion I know because in the books this was such an epic fight scene it's like finally Harry versus Draco and how it ends with Sectumsempra, the awesome spell he just learned from the Half-Blood Prince.

And then it's just the weirdest, most confusing, like, Bourne Identity style, just like, shaky camera, no music. And it was supposed to be a big thing. And it's supposed to be like, when he cast Sectumsempra, it's like, Sectumsempra is said. You like barely even know what he says. You're like, Sectumsempra. Just another thing he said. And then Draco falls off screen. And you're like, oh, okay. After the Sectumsempra scene, they all decide that, well harry just has to get rid of his advanced potions making book right well and it's jenny who decides it because you should never listen to what a book tells you to do why does she want to hide it why not like burn it and why hide it in the room of apartment so she's projecting onto him because she's trying to remove the temptation because of course after she tried to get rid of her book in the toilet she ended up just taking it back from harry or maybe hagrid did

anyway she's trying to get rid of it somewhere that he doesn't know even given that why don't they just burn it because it's a horcrux it wouldn't burn it's not a horcrux but jenny seems to think it is she's like all bad books are horcruxes in the room of requirement where jenny hides the book like they continue their strange courtship and i feel like how how could they have made this movie without like purposefully and knowingly making this as creepy as possible yeah them alone in this room she makes him close his eyes so he won't be tempted like everything so creepy about this it really is i remember watching it as a kid and like this is supposed to be the kind of like the oh they finally got together moment and just being like a little bit disgusted i think it's interesting that harry only ever kisses anybody in the room of requirement that's his kissing room i mean that's what you would use it for so now we are at the felix

felices dude harry just downs that potion like he could have just taken a sip and then he does some great high acting dude i think the felix felicitis is just meth because like he is just acting like tweaked out and hyper and like irrational and to be fair i believe that's because the real daniel radcliffe did have a history of alcoholism and drug use at this point but yeah so he goes off to find hagrid and instead runs into slughorn just stealing from professor sprout i guess yeah yep and so he invites them along to go see hagrid and they find hagrid in front of aragog's dead body a slughorn knows the one consistent rule of hogwarts you cannot go to hagrid's it's true because he thinks it is shocking and ridiculous that harry is going to walk down to hagrid's you can't do that he's 16 years old like who cares if it's almost nightfall like it's against school rules eric this whole scene is huge evidence that hagrid

is a death eater so aragog is dead he has been murdered by hagrid and i can prove this hagrid raised an army of acromantulas for lord voldemort and murdered their leader to become king of the spiders also i believe at one point we indicated that perhaps he's the other parent of those in the books hagrid warns the kids uh not to go into the forest anymore now that aragog's gone he tells them the other spiders won't let me anywhere near their webs now that aragog's gone turns out it was only on his orders that they didn't eat me it wasn't easy getting aragog's body out of there i can tell you they usually eat their dead yep if acromantulas eat their dead and did not want haggard there how did he single-handedly fight off an army of angry car-sized spiders while carrying a gigantic house-sized spider well you see he also learned the spider attacking spell from voldemort even then like it's impossible aragog's body is completely undamaged like i

doubt that haggard was just standing nearby when aragog dropped dead he had the army of spiders carry Aragog. Exactly. He clearly did. I do agree. I will say I think the intimation is that Aragog died of old age. Maybe he wanted his oldest friend nearby as he was dying. We will see in the next couple of movies that these spiders don't want to kill him. They do want to serve him. We're going to find that out. But we're going to talk about that. Slughorn even deduces that Hagrid murdered Aragog. he says dear fellow however did you manage to kill it and haggard looks surprised and apprehensive is like kill it my oldest friend he was he's like i didn't kill him what are you talking about i'm not king of the spiders yeah i agree actually that the evidence of the body is pretty good because like you said like as soon as aragog died all the other spiders are going to eat haggard and the body so in what way would he have been able to fight an entire forest of spiders to get

that body out of there so in the next scene hagrid and slughorn are all drunk and then hagrid falls asleep i guess and then harry finally guilt trips slughorn into sharing the memory they need by using his mother so he went through all this trouble to get this memory so they could learn that voldemort is using horcruxes yeah but dumbledore already knew he was using horcruxes he has the ring which he destroyed he has the diary which was destroyed and he's gone out hunting for horcruxes it doesn't make any sense the only thing i could think is that the important information he needed was how many but there's no way he could have known that that would have been part of that conversation right but the thing is even though in that memory voldemort says seven voldemort did not knowingly create seven he knowingly created six yep well he was gonna make a seventh and then things went down but i'm just saying like this information isn't great

information no it doesn't make any sense i did want to point out that in this scene after they get the memory and dumbledore acts like it's such a big reveal harry's like how are we going to find them they could be anything they could be anywhere and dumbledore says magic especially dark magic and then they get interrupted as the ring spins on the table noisily and then it shows harry do voldemort's little neck twitch and then he says these traces and i thought that was such a good little foreshadowing and daniel radcliffe is so good at doing that he does exactly like voldemort so let's talk about the end of this movie because even in the book this is weird what is with the strange christ metaphor cave with the drinking from the bitter cup thing yeah i don't think that this potion was part of voldemort's entire arrangement i don't think he put this here i think regulus black did it to humiliate voldemort next time he came back to get his horcrux because he

knew that voldemort would never bring someone with him or divulge the location or ask for help right so he knew that if voldemort wants to get this horcrux he's gonna have to drink this humiliation potion that will leave him sobbing and begging and being like no don't make me drink more fair enough except that like he just wouldn't drink more right that's the beauty of his plans It's like if you want it, you've got to drink it. And if you don't, you'll never get it. I think this was like his ultimate payback to Voldemort when he stole it. And Regulus clearly put some forethought into this because he made a fake version of the Horcrux to leave there. No, and it only makes sense that way because do you think Voldemort would put together something that would humiliate himself in order to get it back? He clearly didn't make that. He didn't want to drink that stuff. They should have brought Bill Weasley because he's a curse breaker.

He would have done so good. They also should have brought the unnamed main character of the mobile game, who's also a curse breaker. She's a great curse breaker. When Draco comes to kill Dumbledore, he says to Dumbledore, you don't know me. It's true. Dumbledore never made any effort to know anyone but Harry, really. No, it's a really good line. Dumbledore knows what Draco is doing this year. He should have been helping Draco. He should be getting to be friends with him. Yeah, just talk to Draco, you know? Yeah, I agree. So I thought it was interesting that the first place that the Death Eaters go after killing Dumbledore is straight to Hagrid's hut. Straight there with Bellatrix happily singing, Hagrid, hello. How does she even know who Hagrid is? He's been the groundskeeper for a really long time. I think he was the groundskeeper even when they were there. No one cares about the groundskeeper.

Do you know the groundskeeper's name at your school? I'm just saying, like, they seem to be on first name basis with Hagrid, which, as we learned in this movie, is a very special thing. His first name is Rubius. She should have been going, Rubius. Wouldn't want getting on a first name basis, if you know what I mean. No, I think they clearly were regrouping with the other Death Eater who was on premise. And blowing up his house. Well, because they were like, look, you don't need this house anymore. We're taking over here. It's time to go rogue. They're like, you don't need this old piece of garbage. You live in the castle now. To Torvald's point, they're walking past Hagrid's hut toward the Dark Forest, which presumably if you go in, acromantulas will kill you unless they're being controlled by Hagrid not to. Oh, yeah. Well, that's the way they're calling for Hagrid. I feel like that it is a very emotional scene with Harry just like throwing spells at Snape and Snape easily knocking them away.

And Harry screaming, fight back! Sectumsempra. Yes. So then finally, he uses Sectumsempra. He's like, you use my own spell against me. that's right, I am the Half-Blood Prince. And he says it like it's such a cool reveal. His high school nickname is going to impress his son so much. It's like me being like, I am the Dragon Fairy Queen, right? That's some nickname I thought up for myself. I am Bittercup the Medusa. So good.

He's so proud of it. Okay, so then we have one last scene of Harry and Hermione up in a tower. First, they do a weird light show over Dumbledore's body. Oh, right, that, yeah. In the book, there was like a big scene at Dumbledore's funeral. Instead, in this movie, what they have is everyone just shooting lights up into the air over Dumbledore's body. Like, they are at the scene of the crime. Of the murder, yep. And they're not like shocked or appalled. They're just like, it feels like a funeral scene, but it's not. He just died. It's weird. But like, you find your headmaster murdered. This is not time for a moment of silence and solidarity. This is a time to be like, call the police, the Aurors. Yeah, I get Mad-Eye over here. So it ends with a scene between Harry and Hermione in the tower. And they're kind of discussing what's happening and what's going to happen next. The necklace that it turns out belonged to Regulus Arcturus Black and how Harry's going

to go after the Horcruxes on his own. And I did really like the line where he says, like, I'll let you guys know what's going on. Then she says, Harry, you're so brave, but you can be so thick headed. And at first I thought, because she was just like, of course, we're going to come with you. But no, she says right after that, she's like, you can't find the Horcruxes on your own. She's just like, you're too stupid to do this by yourself. Like, you need help. Right. And I love the line, one of the best lines in this movie. It was Snape. It was always Snape. It's just like such a meta line because it was always Snape in the very first movie. Well, they always thought it was Snape, at least. And finally, it was Snape. It really finally was Snape. Yeah, I agree. That line is excellent. Based on what we learned from this movie, how plausible do you think it is that Snape is Harry's father? I mean, it's pretty plausible, right?

Yeah, it's looking more plausible, I think, than in the last several movies. Yeah. You've still got a way to go before you prove it, though. There's no irrefutable evidence. So this is basically the end of Dumbledore. Was he a dark wizard? His whole plan seems to have ended rather stupidly. Because he didn't plan to die here. He thought Snape was going to protect him. So he was like, I'll just put down my wand. i'm completely defenseless and then he put down his wand malfoy took it out of his hand right but he said to malfoy he's like i'll make it easy for you and put his wand to the side and then malfoy disarmed him i'm just saying he never planned to die there he thought snape was coming to the rescue yeah uh yeah i think the way that he was using and treating harry this entire year was irrefutably evil like there's no explanation for the way he was using a child uh and yeah Apparently, he just also wasn't very good at it and died.

How about Ron? Is Ron evil? Is he casting Imperius on Hermione? He's certainly like love potioning Lavender. I mean, I think in this movie, even from a non-conspiracy theory standpoint, Hermione's behavior is bizarre. Yeah, she's so weird in this movie. She's not acting like herself. This explanation is like the only plausible explanation. All right. And last but not least, is Spider Lord Hagrid really a Death Eater? I mean, I think your evidence with the acromantula body is really pretty solid. And we're going to get into how he does continue to use that force in the next couple movies. Well, thank you so much for listening. Music for this episode is provided by Christine. Remember to like, subscribe, tell your friends, and follow us on Twitter at Popcorn Isn't Real. If you have theories yourself, tweet us, let us know. We'd love to cover any kind of theory you have or just chat about it.

And until next time remember, the popcorn isn't real.