Wonka the murderer, a horror movie for kids

Who do you think would win in a fight? Willy Wonka or Professor Caractacus Potts from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? I mean, Willy Wonka, man. Willy Wonka's loaded. He's got cash. Right. Caractacus Potts is destitute. No, he invented toot sweets. Those are going to make him millions. They're candy and a whistle. That's true. And Willy Wonka had a whistle and it was not candy. that's true he'd have to buy a tootsuite wait wait wait what is a good matchup for willy wonka because i was trying to think of this the best matchup for willy wonka is jigsaw is jigsaw right no i kept coming back to it who would win willy wonka or jigsaw jigsaw is pretty smart his plans are really convoluted and he's always thinking like 10 to 20 years down the road right but willy Willy Wonka, I think, just has far greater means than Jigsaw, right? Right, yeah. He's loaded. Jigsaw's just a guy with cancer. And he has an army of Oompa Loompas that are all his slaves.

They'll do whatever he wants. I mean, yeah, I guess, what is happening? Are they both stuck in, like, the bathroom trap from the first Saw? No, what if they're each stuck in the other one's trap? So what is Jigsaw stuck in? Willy Wonka invited Jigsaw over for a tour. And he was like, here's my new face ripping apart candy. You put it on and it rips your face off if you can't find the key behind your friend's eye. Willy Wonka does have exploding candy for his enemies. He sure does. It's not strong enough. And it wasn't quite powerful enough. But presuming he got it strong enough, you know, that would beat out Jigsaw's like, what, shotgun traps? Yeah, just offer him a piece of candy and his face turns into a shotgun. I mean, that stuff was already really powerful. It knocked the mic TV like two feet backwards and off, you know, onto his back. Well, he's also a really rich guy, too. Like, he controls the world.

like just a tiny announcement from him set the entire world into a state of frenzy that practically destroyed it yeah no i mean like that's pretty crazy he upended like the global economy as well forcing the price of wonka chocolate up to like 5 000 pounds for a box okay so the reason we're talking about willy wonka is because we believe and we think it's pretty clear and a lot of other people believe that willy wonka was in fact an evil horror slasher right like how is that how you would describe it yeah that's that's my theory what is jigsaw is jigsaw slasher yeah yeah he's a he's a horror villain but jigsaw of course being the horror villain from the movie saw not like a traditional slasher but like in the sense that he's killing off people and weird traps one by one you know he's a right torture porn artist well And you and I have talked about this a lot and we've come to the conclusion that Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was in fact like kind of the origin of this kind of movie.

An eccentric bad guy traps a bunch of unwitting victims in his evil lair, right? And kills them off one by one in ways that are kind of punishing them for their past misdeeds. I don't know if it's necessarily the origin of it, but I certainly believe that if you look at the formula of Willy Wonka, at least in the second half, it is essentially just a slasher movie. But what sets this one apart is that this one's for kids, oddly enough. Yeah. What we believe and what this theory is about is that Willy Wonka, he chose these kids. He prepared traps befitting of the things that he didn't like about these kids. And he killed these kids. But what's he doing with them? Oh, what is he doing with them? He's turning them into candy and eating them, of course. Okay, sweet. That's where you took it one step further than I did. But I can see where you're going with it. I mean, he's the candy man, right?

Yeah, the candy man can. But we're actually going to be covering a lot of theories today. One of the most hated people on the internet is Grandpa Joe. There's a whole very popular subreddit dedicated to Grandpa Joe hate. Subreddits, Facebook pages, websites. He is a very hated person. And we're going to look at why. Why is he such a hated person? Because, I don't know, I watch this a lot as kids. I never actually hated Grandpa Joe. But when I stumbled across these Grandpa Joe hate websites, I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I kind of do hate Grandpa Joe. Yeah, he's maybe not really a very good person who forced his family to work while he laid in bed for 20 years. 20 years this perfectly healthy guy he's just like i'm not gonna do this anymore my daughter take care of me yeah yeah what other theories have we got today well we've got one more theory that i'm going to touch on later which is this that violet beauregard was actually the most

qualified to run the chocolate factory and that her sin was the most permissible sin um yeah that of all the kids, she should have been the one to get the reward and to get the jackpot in the end. That theory is actually by a Tumblr user named Ivana. Hello and welcome to The Popcorn Isn't Real. I'm Leif Eric and I'm here with my co-host Torvald. Yeah. Wow. We just got right into it today. I forgot to even introduce us. We're talking about the 1971 film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory based on Roald Dahl's book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory interestingly enough the screenplay credit went to Roald Dahl which I thought was actually kind of cool but it turns out he didn't actually write the screenplay per se it was actually written by a man named David Seltzer and the way David Seltzer tells it is kind of interesting he says that Roald Dahl was supposed to write the screenplay and he showed up

with about like 14 pages and they were covered in like arrows and references to the book and like see page 73 for this dialogue the director was like this isn't a screenplay where's the rest Roald Dahl he was like do whatever you want I'm not writing any more than this I'm out of here and knew how to get paid doing as little as possible exactly basically he just didn't write a screenplay for them so they frantically called up david seltzer and i guess he had written like a couple of lines in hellstrom chronicle uh he had never actually written anything before he hadn't been credited he was not a screenwriter i imagine that did not change yeah well here's what they said they said look we can't pay you for this and we won't give you credit for this but we will pay for your car fare to get you out here and i promise i pinky promise i'll produce your first film so he said okay he came out and wrote the screenplay for free

a basic hollywood deal exactly so david seltzer you know what else he wrote after he got his big start he wrote the omen franchise yes or at least the first one no no but like this guy he clearly likes to write horror movies right like the omen horror movies about kids a kid whose very presence makes people want to kill themselves yeah exactly so it goes to follow this guy would write a book about a guy whose very presence makes him want to kill kids and i don't know if we said it yet but this was directed by mel stewart but you know who else is in willy wonka the legend the man the myth gene wilder you know i've always just loved his performance and every time i see him i just love it even more like he's so good he's great especially especially as willy wonka like he they could not have picked a better man to play this role he's really good at being soft-spoken and kind but inwardly malicious yeah he's so good so in order to prove this theory that willy wonka

murdered these children we're going to have to answer some questions as in any murder case we need to establish a motive, a means, and an opportunity to commit these murders. Did Willy Wonka choose these kids personally? He wasn't out to kill random kids, right? Because he had specific murder devices planned for each one of them. Did he have the means or an opportunity to execute the murder every time? Basically, can the murder weapon be connected back to him? So what I'm gonna do is every time we reach the unfortunate outcome of one of these kids, I'm gonna try and point things out that can link this situation back to Wonka and prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that he planned this. The opening. It's a giant montage of candy being made. And you might think that this would be boring, but not to me as a kid. That was the best part of the movie. I swear, we would turn on the movie and just watch the opening and then turn off the movie sometimes.

It was because it was taped onto a tape. So we would have watched whatever came before it. And then that montage of all the candy would show up and we'd always watch at least that part. Yeah, and we're like, well, I can't turn it off yet. This is the best part. And then it immediately opens up with the Candyman, right? Yep. Where a bunch of, I assume, rich kids who don't have to pay for candy are in a candy shop. Well, poor Charlie Bucket gets nothing and the Candyman just dispenses candy to them. He's just kind of throwing it at them. And then he lets them in behind the counter. He's like, go to town, kids. And when he lets them in behind the counter, he whacks a little girl in the face yeah he does he lifts the counter to let them in he just just smacks that kid in the jaw it's really good when tom and jerry did like an animated remake of the candy man song they animated that little girl getting hit in the face sure did no but as

kids we would talk about this scene a lot and what we came to was the conclusion that these are all rich kids, their parents had paid like a blanket fee beforehand, where they can just go there whenever they want and get songs and candy. Charlie Bucket doesn't get candy because he's poor. Yet these kids who are not paying get as much candy as they want. And the next time they show the candy shop, they show all the kids inside getting their candy. And then Charlie Bucket through the window not getting any candy, but looking at them, right? So exactly. So yeah, it's like a subscription service. It's Netflix, but for candy. So Charlie walks past the factory and the Wonka lights come on just as he looks at the factory. The scene is insane. Now, the man who walks up to Charlie, I guess he's a quote unquote. Tinker. Tinker. No, he's not. See, I would have gone with a homicidal homeless person.

Yes. He's like got a cart covered in like knives. Yeah, a very prominent cleaver just hanging right in the foreground. I'm like, Charlie, get away from this guy. This is meant to be a scary scene. Like, this is in Cabin in the Woods. This is that part of the slasher formula, the harbinger. That weird, crazy old man who shows up and gives you a warning that's kind of coded or poetic or thinly veiled kind of thing. He's not talking like a human. He's talking like, I don't know, a spooky ghost or something. Okay, in the wide shot, Charlie is alone. We can see everything. He stops and looks, and then all of a sudden there is a guy behind him with a cart full of knives. Just right there. And when this guy drags his cart away, it's very loud. Like this scene is meant to be inexplicable and scary and creepy. So this guy, out of nowhere, unprompted, says to Charlie, Up the airy mountain, down the rushing glen, we dare not go a-hunting for fear of little men.

The Oompa Loompas. Yes. He says, you see, nobody ever goes in, and nobody ever comes out. He's building up this building as a place where if you go in, you won't come out. I mean, it could be interpreted as no one ever comes out because no one ever goes in. Like, it's abandoned kind of thing. When's the last time you watched a movie and someone pointed to a building and said, no one ever comes out? And it was not meant as a threat. Well, and I gotta say, like, we dare not go a-hunting for fear of little men. Like, this is a clear reference to the Oompa Loompas. Pretty weird. We learned from terrible old Grandpa Joe that this place used to employ human employees. Yes. But lots of them were spies, meaning they used to go in a hunting. Yeah, they were corporate spies. They don't do that anymore because he closed down Firedoll's human employees, got a bunch of slaves. And apparently these Oompa Loompas will massacre anyone who comes in.

Well, no, they'll turn you into candy and eat you. And I think that there's evidence for this because to them it's nothing. They come from a land where they every day get eaten by wangdoodles and vernicious canids. Yeah. So to them, it's eat or be eaten, right? It's not cannibalism to them. They're not humans. They'll turn you into candy and eat you. So our theory might sound a little crazy. It might be like, oh, you're turning them into candy. What? We never have crazy sounding theories. Yeah, wow. No, but I just got to take a step back from this for a second. Have you ever read a Roald Dahl book? Does turning kids into candy sound like something he would write about? Because the answer to that is a big fat yes. This is his jam. He loves this kind of thing. He would definitely write a book about a sadistic murderer who killed kids and turned them into candy. I read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, the sequel.

And I remember the sequel was crazy. Like, they, like, went to space. They became space pirates. They attacked the president. They had to fight a vermicious Knid. I only read the first book, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. So now we're introduced to Charlie's family and we find out that his terrible Grandpa Joe and his two grandmas and his uncle have been bedridden for 20 years and his dad is dead. And they're so poor that all they eat is cabbage water. That's all they eat. Not cabbage. The water that a cabbage was boiled in. The scene opens up with Joe wants his daughter to work harder and he is low-key blaming her laziness for the fact that Charlie has no time to play. He's trying to guilt his daughter into doing more work because he's like, Charlie needs to play. And why should Charlie have to work? He certainly is. Even though he does nothing. You might take his kindness towards Charlie, right?

Like you might say, oh, he cares about Charlie. But this is betrayed by the fact that he's laying there doing nothing and yelling at his daughter, like you said. So he clearly doesn't care. He just wants to berate her. Well, let's do the math here. So the actor who plays Grandpa Joe, Jack Albertson, was born in 1907. He would have been 64 in 1971 when the film came out. Oh, no. That means Grandpa Joe has been bedridden since he was 44 years old. Oh, no. And he can get up in an instant when the golden ticket comes. make sure to point out that he does not nor has he ever had any sort of disability joe says as soon as i get my strength back i'm gonna get out of this bed and help him about charlie and then the mom says dad and all the years you've been saying that you're gonna get out of bed i've yet to see you set one foot on the floor the point is that they're not saying like oh if only your leg

would heal or if only you hadn't broken your back all those years ago no she just says if she knows Your strength would come back, whatever that means. So Charlie comes home with bread, and his mom asked Charlie, where'd you get the bread? Like, she clearly thinks he stole it. What difference does it make where he got it, says Grandpa Joe. All that matters is that he got it. The clear implication is Joe believes Charlie stole it as well, and he wants to encourage that behavior. Steal more, Charlie. Good. It would be to his benefit if Charlie stole more things for him. He's like, I like bread. Go get more of that. I believe that perhaps Joe is a former criminal laying low. Possibly, yes. From people who maybe he owes money or something like that. But actually, okay, there is a theory. So Joe knows a lot about the Chocolate Factory. Yes, he does. And he specifically knows a lot about the spies that were sent in by Slugworth.

Yes, and he's very excited to work with Slugworth. There's a theory that Joe was one of those spies. Gotcha. And that he's laying low now because he was kind of a criminal spy at one point. And, you know, after Willy Wonka closed down the factory, he lost his strength. He lost his job. Okay, I see. Nothing else to do. No one else to steal. But, like, he really wants to get into that chocolate factory. And he wants all five tickets, too, he says. He wants all five tickets. Why would you need five lifetime supplies of chocolate? Unless you're, like, a person whose business used to be stealing stuff from Willy Wonka and selling it. He wants to sell those tickets. Well, he wants to get the chocolate and sell it to Slugworth. Also, after all these 20 years in bed with his family, living in squalor, subsisting on cabbage water, he still smokes? Charlie gives the change from buying the bread to his mom,

but then gives a little bit to Joe saying, from now on, I'm going to pay for your tobacco. So Joe was just insulting his own daughter for not working hard enough. But clearly, Joe is the problem. If Charlie feels like he has to give his mom a break from working so hard, by now him being the one who pays for Joe's tobacco. He kind of, you know, resists, but he takes the money anyway. He's an addict, possibly to, you know, other things besides tobacco. What? Do you have any evidence of that? I mean, the most infamous thing is just that Grandpa Joe has coke nails, so his pinky fingernails are much longer than the rest of his nails. And, you know, supposedly that was for, like, doing cocaine. Well, the real life reason for this, though, is that the actor played the banjo. And when you play the banjo, it's good to have another long nail on both hands so that you can pluck multiple strings at the same time.

But I also want to say, when you play the banjo, it's good to have a little cocaine. Wow. I guess, if you say so. But yeah, he definitely has coke nails. We never once see Joe smoke a pipe, even though his daughter says it's just one pipe a day. We never see him smoke a pipe. Like, I don't think he's spending that money on tobacco. He's spending it on cocaine. And that's why his family is living in squalor. Just one dime bag a day. All right. Now, you might ask, is it really possible that Willy Wonka set up this whole contest? Like he sent out those golden tickets, upended the world just to get these kids into his factory and kill them in sadistic ways. Yeah. Look at Jigsaw, right? Like he does this exact same kind of thing. He picks out specific people that he hates for specific reasons. He brings them to a place to kill them. And we believe it for that movie. So why couldn't we believe it for this one?

Why do you think that Grandpa Joe has to lay low pretending to be an invalid, right? He doesn't want his legs to actually get broken by Willy Wonka because he used to work for that guy. And also, like, as I was saying, just going along with that theory, like, we do know that Grandpa Joe is super cool with stealing fizzy lifting drink. And at the end, he's the one who's encouraging Charlie to give the gobstopper to Slugworth. And Charlie, luckily, has way more integrity than his grandfather. But yes, my point is that Willy Wonka, very eccentric, makes lots of rash and weird decisions based purely on emotion, sometimes sprays like alcoholic bubbles in the faces of kids while riding a car with them subjects them to evil boat rides okay he literally chopped everything in his office in half even his important documents he is a madman he's very committed to these strange decisions he makes so i yeah i think he could have tracked down these

kids and brought them there just to kill them it's totally something you do right is there any precedent in this movie for like a mad scientist type character. Is there any foreshadowing of that? Mr. Turkentine played by comedian David Batley is Charlie's teacher. Yeah, he's crazy. And the first time we see him he asked Charlie to mix nitric acid with glycerin. Do you know what that makes? Nitroglycerin? Yes, nitroglycerin. No, but he also adds his own special formula to remove warts. A bottle labeled only X. And when they pour them in, he has Charlie take the two dangerous chemicals, the nitric acid and the glycerin, and do they have to just pour all of them in at the same time? They don't measure them. He says they need to be really careful and pour in the same amount, but they're not. Like you said, they're not measuring anything. But I'm asking, why have this scene at the very beginning of the movie, like a classic mad scientist sort of scene where you're just mixing chemicals together and it explodes?

It's just establishing that the adults of this world do dangerous things to kids. And it's very Roald Dahl-esque. Right. And that, you know, it's not out of place for there to be a mad scientist. So class is dismissed because everyone's going crazy and wants to find these golden tickets. There's a lot of really cool scenes during this whole kind of montage. Like that guy in his psychologist's office talking about the archangel whispering to him. So this man has a dream that the archangel whispered in his ear where he can find the ticket. And then his therapist starts threatening him, saying, just tell me where they said they were. And then there's also other scenes to show how sadistic everyone is. Highlighting the horrors of consumerism. Like that lady, just get me my husband back. Whatever they want, I'll pay anything, right? And the detective answers the phone. He's like, I want your case of Wonka bars.

She's like, oh, well, can I think about it? It's your Wonka bars or your husband's wife.

And also there's like an evil computer that turns against its creators. Like they ask it to do the one thing it was made to do. And it says, I can't tell you that would be cheating. It's pretty good. And I think the implication here is that Wonka can somehow remotely influence computers. Oh, I don't know. But I want to say that that computer, it's a mainframe. It's a Siemens System 4004. It did not have the capability to reason like a human. And it definitely didn't, it couldn't answer questions, right? What? It couldn't interpret things like when the guy, the guy who's running the computer, he's played by Tim Brooks Taylor. He says, I'm telling the computer that if it will tell me the correct answer, I will gladly share with it the grand prize. And it says, what would a computer do with a lifetime supply of chocolate? That's far beyond this computer's capability. So something's wrong here.

1970s technology in movies was the best. it's great let me introduce to gustus gloop he's a fat german boy who eats a lot but not as fat as his hungry maniac who eats a microphone the reporter puts up to his mouth he'll eat anything something near my mouth i eat it i always wish that he had been in the movie more that he'd come to the factory instead of the mom because i would see this guy at the chocolate factory how would he have time for that he's too busy eating well my guess is that he wasn't interested in chocolate he only eats non-food items like microphones like you see him eating something on a plate he's not eating food he's eating the silverware he's taking bites of the fork why does Augustus Gloop deserve to die he basically threatens Wonka right when he's being interviewed he looks at the camera he says I feel sorry for Wonka I'm gonna cost him a fortune in fudge, right? Like he's, he's saying, look out, I'm coming. He won a lifetime supply of

chocolate though. He'd be stupid not to exploit that. But I mean, when he does is when he gets punished. So that is true. So, oh, I mean, perhaps the, uh, the, the motivation for all of them is just that, uh, Wonka doesn't want to give them a lifetime supply of chocolate. It's cost-saving. I do think that's part of it. Yes. But I think it goes a little deeper. Wonka clearly doesn't like overweight kids even though he makes candy. Fat shame. Yes. I mean you'll notice that everything Wonka does is actually kind of very overtly evil. Yeah he's a mean guy. He doesn't hide it. But he doesn't like fat gluttonous kids. With every kid starting with Augustus Gloop immediately after they find the golden ticket. Some creepy guy with a giant scar on his face who comes down close to them and whispers silently in their ear. He is sent out to these kids, presumably to run Willy Wonka's strange con of trying to get them to betray him when they have no reason to be loyal to him.

So he's not actually Slugworth, but we're going to call him Slugworth. But he's actually working for Wonka to just trick these kids into betraying Willy Wonka. I don't know. It's a weird plan. But him being there when they all find their tickets, since these tickets are found across the world, it's an impossible task unless he had knowledge of who would find the ticket and where they would be found and also when they would be found. And further proof that he's not the original Slugworth who was stealing Willy Wonka's secrets, who I'm sure Willy Wonka had killed. We don't need to prove that. They say it in the movie. Oh, not that they had him killed. Oh, my gosh. No, it's that he's not the original Slugworth. It's that Grandpa Joe doesn't recognize him when he shows up at the end. And Grandpa Joe would, because he worked for me. We don't have any proof of that. Because I already proved. All right, right.

I just want to point out that Slugworth, he shows up. What's he doing? He is serving Augustus food. He's giving him food, just like he probably served him that candy bar, right? Like, he probably gave it to him. He's being a waiter, right? I mean, Augustus probably said, give me a candy bar. So he said, here you go, right? Right. He seems to work at the place. Although, why does he have to do it when the reporter is there? I don't know. Every time he does it, the camera zooms in on him. It's like they know something's going on. So the next one to find at Golden Ticket is Veruca. Her dad owns a peanut factory. He has all the peanut shellers, which all of them are women. Or girls, as he calls them. Yeah, he calls them girls. Instead of shelling peanuts, they're opening Wonka bars. 60,000 Wonka bars. And just the price of those Wonka bars is millions of dollars, right? He really loves his daughter.

He just wants her to be happy. She's pretty mean and rotten. She calls him a rotten, mean father. She says, you never give me anything I want. And I think this all plays into why Wonka hates her, right? I think he doesn't like greedy, rich kids. And also, I think that he sees this peanut factory barren as competition. Or maybe he had a falling out with like the peanut factory. It's like what McDonald's does. They don't pay someone to provide the beef. They have their own beef farmers. So Willy Wonka probably has his own peanut farmers in his own peanut industry. And he doesn't like this other guy selling peanuts. So of all the parents, Veruca's dad is the only parent who is also murdered by Wonka. He wanted to get rid of this guy. That we know of. Yeah, it's true. He might have murdered all of them. We don't know. so when the worker finds the golden ticket she says i've got it i've got it mr salt here it is

slugworth is standing right next to her already he immediately grabs her he pulls her up the stairs over to veruca he clearly gave her the candy bar right he let her open it and yanked her over to veruca willy wonka wanted veruca to find the golden ticket all right so then we have violet beauregard willy wonka doesn't like her because he doesn't like gum i mean he doesn't make gum he thinks gum is gross it doesn't make him any money because he doesn't manufacture it like the only gum he makes is that dinner gum which is actually a murder device but also specifically i think violet sin to a confectioner to a maker of candy is that she chews it for as long as possible exactly she just keeps chewing and chewing she doesn't need more gum but then that kind of raises the question wouldn't he like a goose disgust no no he doesn't like fat kids remember why not consumers he thinks they're gross he's neurotic okay this is like a

bad it's a it's a bad image yeah yeah it hurts his company if there are lots of fat kids around when violet meets willy wonka for the first time she asks him what kind of gum do you got and he completely ignores her and just says charming charming he's annoyed at her for asking that question because he doesn't make gum quite overtly he hates every single one of them from the get-go yeah i know he's disgusted by them yes and the only reason his character works like you already kind of said is just because he's played by gene wilder oh yeah wilder has a way of being nice while being incredibly mean he's so good at it but yeah i think that willy wonka specifically only manufactures one kind of gum and that kind of gum is a murder device to kill violet so he specifically assassinated her with gum yes i mean clearly because he knows it's what she chews on because he knows that's her achilles heel slugworth is right behind her and he starts

whispering into her ear as soon as her dad grabs the mic mic tv is the next one to find the golden ticket he's from marble falls arizona he's kind of being rude the whole time he won't shut off the tv or answer the interviewer's questions until the commercial break he's watching this cowboy show and someone gets shot and the interviewer says you like the killings and he says what do you think life's all about and fires his gun weirdly and creepily enough slugworth is in this kid's house i don't know why he's there i mean i guess the interviews are there so maybe came into the press. Yeah, just posing as a reporter or something. Right. Now, I think Willy Wonka doesn't like Mike TV. I think he hates Mike more than anyone. I think maybe he doesn't like overt violence. He specifically is very offended when Mike pretends to shoot him when Mike first comes into the factory and I think Mike just rubs him

the wrong way. I don't know. He doesn't like Mike. He probably looks in the mirror or at his shoes and says, make me like Mike. It just never worked. Yeah, dude, we should come up with a theory for that movie. I think it had a sequel even. There's like two like mics. Finally, Charlie Bucket is about to find his Wonka bar. There's a couple little things before this of Grandpa Joe being terrible. On Charlie's birthday, everyone else in the family makes for him a scarf that they worked and toiled hard for. He buys him chocolate. Later on, late in the night, he buys him more chocolate. But he used Charlie's own money to buy Charlie a chocolate. Charlie could have bought chocolate himself. Joe has done nothing here. This took no time, no effort, and no money of his own. Also, how did he buy it? He must have walked. I was going to ask the same thing. He did it twice. He knows how to go out and buy chocolate.

He must go when everyone sleeps. He knows how to get cocaine or tobacco or whatever. Like he definitely gets out of bed often. And then he has to pretend he can't walk when he... And he's getting Charlie's hopes sky high every single time. But of course, yes, Charlie doesn't get any chocolate. And then Charlie is going outside, looking at the ground and find some money on the ground. And specifically, he's been walking down this entire street looking down. He never takes his eyes off the ground. It'd be very easy for someone, say Slugworth, to drop a coin right in his path where he'll find it. because, first of all, he's not going to see Slugworth drop it because he's looking down. Second of all, he's definitely going to see the coin because he's looking down. And Slugworth knows he's a really, really poor kid. So he finds this coin. He goes into the store. He says, I'd like to buy a bar of chocolate.

And apparently sizzlers are made by Slugworth because the candy man says, would you like a Slugworth sizzler or a scrum diddly umptious bar? And Charlie says, whichever's biggest. Scrum diddly umptious sure sounds better than a sizzler. I know. slugworth is just a horrible name for anything related to candy so it's only afterwards when he says i think i'll buy one more for my grandpa joe at which point the candy man specifically says how about you try a regular wonka bar this time and before waiting for any response he picks up the candy bar with the golden ticket gives it to him and hands it to him i think the candy van is working with slugworth and wonka and i think he specifically was going to give a golden ticket to either a kid who matched a certain criteria or possibly just to Charlie Bucket himself. No, specifically to Charlie Bucket. Grandpa Joe was a spy. He was familiar enough with Willy

Wonka that Willy Wonka knew him. And we know that Grandpa Joe is terrible. And I think Willy Wonka wants to punish Grandpa Joe's grandson. Why do you think Willy Wonka knew him? As I already said, he worked for Willy Wonka. All right. All right. Okay. So you don't have any specific evidence. No. Okay. I understand. I just think that it all fits. And also, everyone hates Grandpa Joe. Grandpa Joe is Charlie's sin, literally, in this movie. The only sin Charlie commits is because of Grandpa Joe. Right, yes. And I think Willy Wonka wanted to bring him here to punish this horrible, evil, corporate espionage man who went into hiding for 20 years, but then stupidly came out of hiding to go to Wonka. He's like, I know how to get him out of his bed. wanted to take this man and his grandson and chop them up in a ceiling fan so yeah i think that uh willy wonka doesn't like charlie because of grandpa joe i think willy wonka also doesn't

like poor people specifically he doesn't like poor kids because they don't buy his candy they don't buy his candy what one thing do we know about charlie in this movie he doesn't buy candy yes okay every other kid buys candy but he does not so willie wonka better punish him but he would if he had money i think he also thinks that poor people are more likely to steal like how grandpa joe stole his corporate knowledge and sold it to slugworth grandpa joe assumes that charlie is stealing bread for them as does his mother as does willie wonka so he wants to exact revenge on this poor family let's set let's set the scene for this horror film so you open a bar of chocolate inside there's some sort of weird ticket on it there's a message and the message says you may bring one member of your own family dot dot dot and only one dot dot dot but no one else it's pretty sinister it's a rather ominous ticket i think and then below that in your wildest

dreams you could not imagine the marvelous surprises that await you in italics yeah so obviously it has to be clearly so evil so charlie comes home with the golden ticket and all of a sudden grandpa joe is like hey guys i can walk and also i can dance and jump around he makes a show of it he's like oh oh and then all of a sudden he's like ah screw it i can walk yeah gotta get that chocolate he clearly has been walking all along like you said he probably goes out at night and when everyone's asleep and i mean charlie's mom probably knows about it but maybe she doesn't want to anger him so she goes along with it well yeah because he's like an abusive addict and her father yes he's a horrible person also like you're taking cocaine at night when everyone is asleep you're not sleeping you know exactly now it's important to note that on the way home, Charlie runs into Slugworth. He was right there waiting for Charlie

to buy the chocolate bar because he knew Charlie was going to get it because he's working with a candy man. So Slugworth, we finally get to hear what he's been whispering to all the other kids. He says, I'm Arthur Slugworth, president of Slugworth Chocolates Incorporated. He says, I'm going to make you a very rich man. He says, I'm going to give you 10,000 of these. Now, I don't know what these are, but if they're $100 bills, then yeah, that's something. But if they're just regular $1 bills, that's not much money. $1,000 in 1971, though, for a poor kid, you know? Well, I always kind of assumed they were just $1 bills. And he's saying, I'm going to give you $10,000. And if so, this guy really overestimates what $10,000 can buy. He says, think it over. A new house for your family, good food and comfort for the rest of your lives. I don't think $10,000, even in the 70s, could have provided that for, there's six people, right?

Right. So he tells Charlie to bring him the everlasting gobstopper. And Charlie then tells Uncle Joe about it. And Uncle Joe is very interested in this. Oh, yeah. All the chess pieces are in place, and it's time to go to the chocolate factory. So Willy Wonka comes out, and he's totally creepy. He gives you the willies, if you will. Oh, dude. Wow. Oh, my gosh. You just blew my mind. He's limping. And as a kid, I always thought this scene is creepy. Like, he's acting like he's crippled. Well, and if nothing else, he's tricking them on purpose. It's just the kind of guy he is, right? He likes to trick people. I have seen it hypothesized that perhaps this is purposefully directed at Grandpa Joe. Oh, yeah? He's like, look, I'm pretending to be a cripple too. Wait, yes you can. Oh, hey, look, I'll flip to my feet just like you did. I get it. I love it. That's pretty good. Okay, well, the first thing he does is he's like,

this is going to be an exciting day. I hope you enjoy it. I think you will. And between every single line, he looks at the ground. This is a tell. He knows that they won't. He's like, you'll be six feet under. When Augustus Gloop walks in, he pinches his belly fat, saying he's in such fine shape. Yes. Is he planning on eating him, perhaps? Wow. I don't know. Dude. What kind of flavor of candy could you get out of human meat? Well, clearly chocolate. I don't know. That's where he sends Augustus Gloop. So maybe he's using human protein to fuel the Oompa Loompas that make the candy. I don't know. Oh, right. Because the Oompa Loompas are the ones who are going to eat you. That's what the tinker told us. Dude, you're right. Oh, my gosh. So they're offerings for the Oompa Loompas. That's why he gives them to the Oompa Loompas every time. He's like, here you go, eat up. I still like to think, you know,

maybe at least some parts of them are being made into candy. Yeah, Oompa Loompa candy.

Charlie Bucket found the ticket the night before it was time to go to the factory. Charlie Bucket presumably didn't tell any TV stations or anyone about it. Willy Wonka welcomes him into the factory saying, Well, well, Charlie Bucket, I've read all about you in the papers. I'm so happy for you. I don't think this small town has had time to produce any papers talking about Charlie Bucket. He was mobbed by tons of people, like almost like a zombie apocalypse amount of people when he gets that ticket. No, it's like 10 people and then he runs away. So there are people who know his name, who know that he got the ticket because he gets it right next to his employer who's like, run home, Charlie. Yeah. Whoa. Don't stop until you get there. I don't know. I just I'm wondering how fast this small town can really mobilize to get like newspapers printed and stuff because it's literally the next morning.

You're forgetting Charlie Bucket is the one who delivers those papers and Willy Wonka's factory is on his route. So if he didn't deliver those papers because he was busy running home, Willy Wonka wouldn't have gotten the paper. You're right, dude.

So how did Willy Wonka know his name unless he, as you have hypothesized, was working with the candy salesman who gave him that ticket? Right. So either way, he did not read about him in the papers. So he's lying here and he knew that Charlie Bucket was coming. This is a good time to just talk a little bit about a couple of fun things from the commentary. The commentary is just all five kids. That's so cool. Were they kids at the time of the commentary or are they adults? No, they're all quite old. I don't know when the commentary was recorded. I would love to hear that. I mean, you know, Charlie Bucket is like a, the actor is like a dairy farmer or something. Right, he doesn't act. He never acted again. But Mike TV's actor is surprisingly knowledgeable about this film. Like he knows tons of random bits of trivia. He says during this part that fans have noticed that the shadows change between shots,

which makes it even creepier. So when Willy Wonka is first walking out, He walks into the shadow of a building and then he walks out of it. In the next shot, he's walking fully in the sunlight and walks into the shadow of the same building. Like the shadow has moved ahead of him to keep him always in the shadows as he's walking. I mean, I'm sure they did different takes at different times of the day. Yeah, it was just at a different time of the day.

That's fun. The funnest part of the commentary is just that the actors who played Veruca and Violet were both into Charlie. And they keep talking about how they had this cool rivalry going on. But they were like, but it was a very polite rivalry. We talked to each other and we're like, okay, today is your day with Charlie. You get to go out with him after we finish shooting. Tomorrow's my day with Charlie. So it was like they were just negotiating their Charlie time. Charlie Bucket, the ladies man. They're talking about how cute Charlie was the whole time. And he's just kind of like, probably kind of awkward situation. Charlie, my man, Peter Ostrom. Oh boy. And they talk about how like they weren't interested in Mike TV at all. Because Mike TV's actor was actually like two years younger than the rest of them. So he was like a little kid to them. Anyway, it's a really fun commentary. And I do think you should listen to it.

And I think we have a little meme we made that has to do with that quote. Wow, it's not going to make sense to anyone. So they get into the factory. He points out that there are little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous, as literal human hands reach down and take their hats and coats from through the wall. It's like a classic horror scene, like straight out of Roman Polanski's Repulsion. Before they can proceed into the actual... They have to sign a literal deal with the devil. Yes, they have to sign this enormous contract. He won't let them read it. But also, they literally can't read the bottom because it's too small. The words get smaller and smaller as it goes down. But from what we can read, they're clearly waiving any responsibility to Wonka for their deaths. Do you think they're signing their souls over to Willy Wonka? Because this isn't a legal contract per se, because their guardians do not sign it.

He only has the miners sign it, which would be voidable in court, but not in Wonka's court, I guess. So this is clearly an alternate universe, by the way, because Charlie Bucket's mom says to him that there are a hundred billion people in the world. In the 70s, there were only like three or four billion people in the world. So this is not our world. So in this world, maybe contracts with miners are binding. Mike TV's mom asks, I assume there's an accident indemnity clause. Wonka says, never between friends. She's saying, will we be compensated if there's any sort of accident? And he says, no. No compensation. He's clearly planning to have these kids get in accidents. So I didn't transcribe the entire contract that you can't really read anyway, but I'm just going to read the first two paragraphs or so. It says, whereas the management cannot be held responsible for any accidents, incidence, loss of property, or life, or limb.

Whereas for damage caused by lightning, earthquakes, floods, fire, frost, or frippery of any sort, kind, or condition, consequently, the undersigned take responsibility. I want to say frippery, it's a real word, and the definition of it is showy or unnecessary ornament in architecture, dress, or language. So basically Willy Wonka, right? Oh, yeah, that works. At the end, Willy Wonka reads part of the contract, which is in Latin. Yes. Fax, mentis, incendium, gloria, et cetera, et cetera. Memo bis punitor delicatum. The Latin in the contract drafted by Willy Wonka translates to the torch of the mind lights the path to glory. I am mindful that the crime is punished in two ways. Yeah, or the fault is punished twice, something like that. I ask you, what are those two ways in which it is punished? I think the first punishment is the one that we see. And the second one is the one that we do not see.

Namely, them being made into candy or fed to Oompa Loompas. Okay. It's certainly an evil contract because he's clearly just 100% going to kill them. And speaking of 100%, he takes them to a door. And the combination to this door is 99, 44, 100% pure. Which, I'm just going to point out, has been Ivory Soap's slogan since 1895. Ivory Soap's other slogan. It floats. It floats. What else floats? We all float down here. Bodies. Yeah, horror. We all float down here. Dude, he predicted it. This room that he takes them into, it's like really mysterious, right? They go in, and then they open the door, and they're somewhere else. Everyone's mind is blown. It's an elevator. What? This is an elevator. There's nothing interesting about it. Well, you know he invents elevators. So Willy Wonka is about to lead them into the edible room. He emphasizes that everything in this room is eatable. Edible. You can eat almost anything.

Augustus, who he's clearly trying to appeal to, says, Let me in. I'm starving. And Wonka says, don't lose your head, Augustus. You wouldn't want to lose that. Yet. Right. He's specifically saying, this is where you will die, Augustus. There's no way that Augustus could possibly know that he shouldn't be drinking from that river. And in fact, Willy Wonka points it out. He says, hey, in this room where you can eat everything, this river is made of chocolate. Take a look at my big chocolate river. And then he's like, wait, no, don't eat from my big chocolate river. and he certainly seems to shove augustus into that river i don't know if he actually made physical contact with him but if he didn't he was gonna definitely push him in he wasn't trying to pull him back he was right well he even admits what this was he says help police murder help police murder murder and he doesn't care he says it's too late he's had it now the section's got

him augustus's mom says we have to help him before he's turned into marshmallows and wonka says he won't be marshmallows that's impossible it's absurd it's unthinkable because that pipe doesn't go to the marshmallow room it goes to the fudge room then he tells the oompa loompas to go straight to the fudge room look sharp or her little boy is liable to get poured into the boiler i think he's saying pour her little boy into the boiler one she even says you boiled him up i just know it do we ever see him okay in the end no this is one major difference which i was going to point out between the book and the movie at the end of the book charlie does see every single kid again and they're all kind of like contorted and bent out of shape in the ways they should be based on what happened to them like augustus is thinner because he got squeezed through a pipe right the oompa loompas then sing a song about how horrible it is to be fat and that's it that's

the end of Augustus. Okay, so they're about to get on a crazy, scary boat ride. Yeah, this is the most overtly horrific scene in the movie. And I think the reason why all kids were horrified by this movie, as kids, we would fast forward through this boat scene. I don't think I'd ever seen it the whole way through. Intentionally, highly disturbing. Very much so, yeah. I don't see why it's in there. Basically, they're on a boat and he's showing them really disturbing images and reciting a disturbing evil poem let's talk about all the horrific things we see on this weird screen next to the boat we see millipedes crawling on a guy's face yeah we see an actual filmed beheading of a live chicken yeah yeah they chopped that chicken's head off we see lizards eating bugs close-ups of eyes we see a big slugworth face i've seen it pointed out that But at this point, due to the lighting effects, the chocolate river looks more like a blood river.

Well, here's what he's singing. He says, not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing. Are the fires of hell a-blowing? Is the grizzly reaper mowing? Yes, the dangers must be growing, for the rowers keep on rowing. Now, the grizzly reaper mowing, that's obviously a reference to the kids being killed one by one. Yeah, he's like, I'm going to kill you all. One down, four to go. Right. And I think it's telling that he goes on this crazy rampage right after the first kill. You know, he got a taste for blood. He's reveling in it. He's a serial killer. He's very happy. Yeah, there's no turning back now. And that's kind of what this scene feels like. Well, that's what he says. He says, for the rowers keep on rowing and they're certainly not showing any signs that they are slowing. And he just starts streaking, dude. It's really disturbing. And all this is just to get them to the invention room.

Yeah, where he feeds them exploding candy. And he gives them gobstoppers only if they swear to never show them to another living soul as long as they shall live, which he knows won't be long. Yes, that's true. He also produces these gobstoppers from a covered machine that looks an awful lot like a covered body. I didn't notice that. Look at it. It's the shape of a body. The gobstopper's come out from between its legs. It's pretty weird looking. Well, like all of his candy, it's made from children. Exactly. I think it's made from actual bodies. He also points out that these gobstoppers are for children with very little money. You can suck them forever. Showing that he does want to break into the children with very little money market. He hasn't found a way to appeal to them yet. It's like, I gotta get money out of these poor kids. Maybe lower his prices? I don't know. If he can't do that, then he'd lose money from the rich kids.

So the death of Violet. And we're going to get into this because, like I said, I have this theory that she was the most qualified to inherit the factory. He stresses right in Violet's face just how revolutionary this gum is. He knows that she's into gum and he holds it up and immediately Violet's like, oh, gum. Oh my gosh, I love gum. And he's like, no, it's not just gum. it's the world's most amazing gum. Hard to depict this as anything but an assassination. Right, like he's appealing to the one thing that he knows that she really, really loves. So she pulls it out of his hand like he knew she would. And as he does with all the kids, he's like, stop, don't. What is the sin here? In the last room, he was letting them eat all the candy. And he never told them to stop eating the candy. And also in this room, Veruca's eating like, I don't know what it is, weird popcorn out of like a vat and the other kid's eating exploding candy.

It's not like he tells them, no, don't do that here. Yes. The movie seems to want you to believe that the scene is chewing gum. It is, yes. Kids should not chew gum. Well, but even then, it's kind of interesting because when the Oompa Loompas sing about it, they kind of praise it. Like they specifically say that chewing gum is good because it can help you stop smoking and stuff. But then they say it's repulsive, revolting, and wrong. the reason i think this is all interesting is because it does like i said fit into the slasher formula in like the original like halloween type slashers the kids had always committed some sort of sin before they're killed you know like drinking drugs sex etc in this case it's a slasher for little kids so it's like child sins things that aren't even necessarily bad at all chewing gum being fat watching tv oh my gosh so poor violet eats the gum and she's like you know rightfully

pretty surprised that now she's going to die and she's like i feel funny and wonka probably should have told her this beforehand but now he says it happens every time they all become blueberries we gotta roll her down to the juicing room at once for squeezing she has to be squeezed before she explodes. No matter what, they're eating her in this scene. Like they're squeezing juices out of her that they're going to eat. He also doesn't say that she will ever not be a blueberry. Like he says they become blueberries. Violet is one of the biggest evidences of like he turns kids into candy because he literally turned a kid into candy before our very eyes. But I want to get into this fan theory that she was the most deserving to inherit Willy Wonka's kingdom. So this is a theory by ivana from tumblr the bulk of this theory comes from the fact that she's very qualified she knows more about candy than anyone else in the room besides wonka of course because like candy

is her hobby and kind of her job like she wins contests and stuff like world records for chewing gum and besides this her dad owns his own business like he's he owns a used car dealership and he's a politician so she could get support from him he could teach her how to run the business she probably knows a thing or two about it already i mean of everyone here she's the only one who shows any sympathy for the oompa loompas uh when veruca says that she wants to buy one violet tells her off yeah i'm not gonna argue with you on that so maybe the others all deserve their punishments a bit like augustus i mean it was a forbidden chocolate river wasn't he told them they could eat anything in the room yeah i know i don't believe that but i'm just saying maybe charlie charlie definitely did steal mike tv he didn't necessarily do anything wrong but he knew the consequences of what he was doing he saw the chocolate bar get shrunk uh which we're going

to talk about later so he knew what he was in for violet had no idea that she would die just from eating a piece of gum an evil confectioner gave a child poisoned gum and she died that's the story And then I also like that Ivana, the origin of this fan theory, she compares Veruca to Prometheus because she took a personal risk to share the knowledge with everyone. When she ate the gum, she immediately starts telling everyone how it tastes, how it feels like she wants them all to experience it with her. And then she paid the price for it, just like Prometheus when he stole fire and shared it with the people. She's an unsung hero and a tragic hero. By Willy Wonka's definition, she did not deserve it because, and he's not even being subtle about this, at the end he says he literally just wanted someone who would do things his way. Yeah, he wants a push. And Violet likes gum. Yep, and he does not like gum.

Willy Wonka does not like gum. He only makes gum to assassinate Violet. Alright, so they go into the next room and there's like rolls of paper on the wall that have tasteable fruits on them. So I always thought this was like a crazy cool idea as a kid, but now I think it's kind of gross. I always thought it was disgusting. If you had your own personal paper, it would be okay. But if you're like supposed to share, who shares candy? Anyway, so Willy Wonka makes the comment that everything tastes like it should. And he ends with this, snozzberries taste like schnozzberries. schnozberries who ever heard of a schnozberry at which point wonka says we are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams whatever that means there's a long-running kind of myth that schnozberries are male genitalia it's a euphemism you've never heard this no dude i heard this all the way back in like elementary school wait wait wait does the theory go any further than that

Yeah. No, it's confirmed. Like Roald Dahl wrote it 15 years after Roald Dahl wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. He wrote a book titled My Uncle Oswald. Now, this is a very adult book. It's not a book for children. It's basically it's about Oswald and a woman named Yasmin who are trying to seduce and steal the sperm of rich and powerful men. basically with the goal of selling it to women who want successful kids so there's sperm jacking people and in a specific section of this book yasmin she describes how she does this so this is a direct quote from the book she says there's only one way when they get violent i grab a hold of his snozzberry and hung on to it like grim death and give it a twist or so to make him hold still. So this is written by Roald Dahl and using the same word schnozberry. Well, I will say that the list of things that eat Oompa Loompas is wang doodles, swogglers, and schnozwangers.

Lots of wangs in there. So there's one little thing to note here, which is that Roald Dahl might just reuse funny words sometimes in another story he wrote called sometime never a fable for supermen so i guess it's about gremlins who have been completely displaced by humans so they have to like live in hiding underground these gremlins eat a certain kind of fruit called schnozberries it's a sweet juicy red fruit that grows in orchards okay so it could just be a fruit or it could be a man's fruit who knows anyway okay just figured we'd cover that because it's a very famous willy wonka myth or fan theory okay all right up next is fizzy lifting drink so they walk into the bubble room and he says like there's fizzy lifting drink but don't drink it and then just leaves yeah no it's the shortest room in the entire movie and then grandpa joe is like hey charlie let's get high i mean no he's like let's just take a drink nobody's watching a little swallow

won't hurt us why why would you do this did you not just see those other kids literally die because they ate stuff they shouldn't i know this is right after violet now this room is clearly a death trap why would you place massive over blades above a room that houses the extremely powerful drink that makes you like rise 20 or 30 stories into the air with one gulp willy wonka wanted someone to die yeah no it's a death trap 100 as we see later he's really pissed that they didn't yeah he's mad because he has to clean the ceiling i'm sure he wanted to clean it but for different reasons they barely managed to escape their deaths by burping a lot and i'm sure willy wonka didn't quite see that coming and he's pretty pissed about it for the rest of this tour he does not acknowledge charlie's existence not that he really did before terrible grandpa joe must have been something that they planned and wrote into this movie like

he is charlie's sin he is every bad thing that happens to charlie is because of grandpa joe every trap room is designed to make the kid pay for something right like augustus gloop they knew he loved chocolate and fudge so they made him a chocolate river for this fizzy lifting drink room it is the room that is most clearly a death trap but how is it designed to appeal to charlie it's not it's designed to appeal to joe who loves stealing trade secrets and selling them to slugworth Wonka literally says, this is an experimental drink that hasn't been released yet and isn't fully formulated. So we're not going to touch it. Let's just leave it alone. He knows that Uncle Joe will be like rubbing his hands together. Like, this is right up my alley. I love this kind of stuff. I'll just take a little. And, you know, this is Charlie's sin or rather his sinful grandfather. And now he has to pay. The sins of the fathers.

Sins of the grandfathers. But, like, to go along with your thing about, like, he doesn't acknowledge Charlie after this, it's true, he never really acknowledged him much, but, like, they just walk into the next room after this whole fizzy lifting experience, and Willy Wonka doesn't even look at them. Nope. Like, he is purposefully ignoring them, because in his mind, he left them back there to die, and they're dead. He has no reason to look back. And he's also mad, because they're not dead. But then, at the end, once he's killed all the other kids, and they're still around, he literally just walks away from them, talking to himself. Oh, I was supposed to be five for five today. Yep. All right, so now we're on to the geese. Veruca, she gets mad when she can't have a golden egg laying goose. And she goes crazy and sings about wanting a bean feast and just wrecks the place. She wrecks everything in the room, right?

She's being a little brat. Do you want to explain what a bean feast is? Apparently, it's like when you throw a party for your employees. But why would she have that, right? Like, the only thing I can think of here is that they're trying to say that the father diverts company assets, which are supposed to be used as like to reward the workers to his daughter. That's what I thought. But either way, she ends up on the shoot that is supposed to verify if an egg is good or bad, which Wonka, of course, has full control over. And what do you know? It opens up and sends her to her death in the furnace. And her dad says, this is a leg of sausage. And Wonka says, not necessarily. She could be stuck inside the tube, at which point her dad jumps in after her. And then what do you make of Grandpa Joe being like, well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted. Okay, I was going to ask you. And then Charlie says, what?

And Joe says, Veruca went first. What on earth does that mean? I don't know. I was going to ask you. What does it mean Veruca went first? All right, let's look it up. Okay, say no to grandpajoe.com. As an interpretation. I guess they have, like, definitions as defined by Grandpa Joe's actions. So right now we're defining the word vindictive. It's a noun, which means seeking revenge, evidence. So when all that stuff happens with Veruca, Grandpa Joe says, Veruca went first. And then later at the end of the movie, I'll get him even if it's the last thing I do. Slugworth wants a gobstopper, he'll get one. Analysis. Grandpa Joe's vindictive streak is more apparent in the movie than in the book. in the movie he takes perverse pleasure in veruca going down the garbage chute before her father his hostility towards them is based on mr salt's earlier insistence that ladies should go first putting veruca ahead of grandpa joe oh my gosh dude so he was vindictive about that

oh man grandpa joe is so much more horrible than i realized what a disgusting thing but that's not even made up like that that is that's the only explanation for that that he didn't like that veruca went first at the very beginning something that no one even remembers wow he really held that against this little child he just hated someone cutting in front of him like he has an all get mine kind of mentality like he's like she got mine now he's taking perverse pleasure in the fact that she dies and he's like she wants to go first she can go first to hell oh my gosh grandpa joe he really is terrible that's that's the biggest confirmation for our theory yeah like they sum it up really well here they say as with most vengeful people grandpa joe is willing to cut off his nose to spite his face he is a horrible man wow oh dude they have three different areas that you can explore one is rat bag the other is industrial

spy and the third is bastard each one of these three has their own like subset of things that you can look into oh my gosh okay we believe there's sufficient evidence in the book and in the movie to demonstrate that grandpa joe has unusual knowledge of wonka's facilities in addition there are certain incongruities between his alleged health and his apparent abilities which lead us to believe that his illness is a cover that's exactly what we thought But finally, there's an irrefutable plan to sell Slugworth a Gobstopper. Wow, this is so good. Oh, boy. All right. So after Veruca and her dad sizzle like sausages in the furnace, Wonka snidely remarks that, well, the furnace is lit every other day, so they have a good sporting chance, haven't they? And then the Oompa Loompas sing about how she's a brat deserves to die. Yep. And then Wonka says, children are disappearing like rabbits. Do rabbits disappear often?

I thought they multiplied yeah when you say like rabbits it's the opposite then they all put on radiation suits and it's time for Wonka vision so Wonka has invented something like revolutionary it can shrink and teleport matter yet he will reuse it for candy I assume he has other usages for this like maybe transporting things like bodies yeah good point they'd be a lot easier to hide if they're small i mean he's already unbelievably powerful just as like a confectioner how powerful would he be if he invented this thing and marketed it like this is insane dude i've got it who would win in a fight willy wonka or sir topham hat oh oh that's a that's a good matchup dude who would win they're both like eccentric mega millionaires bent on i don't know controlling the world domination through their invention i actually don't know who's more powerful because sir topham hat has like some serious ai capabilities yeah oh man he's got some serious clout just for our listeners

we're referencing our thomas and friends episode that we did oh yeah thomas is an if you haven't listened to it it's really good check it out that's a really good one i love that one i might have to give it to topham hat though he's got a lot of trains at his disposal right like an army of trains. That's what I'm thinking about is Wonka, I think, is in a good position to dominate the world economically. So he might be able to like force Topham Hatt out money wise, but Topham Hatt's in a good position to dominate the world military wise. Like just have some guns on all his trains and he's got like living thinking armies of indestructible machines. And Wonka seems to be interested in actual innovations in technology like teleporting matter or candy that lasts forever. Whereas Sir Topham Had is interested in trains. He's not really interested in innovating at all. He's going to create AIs, but they are specifically

for trains. As we covered, there are other automobiles and, you know, means of transportation that he's putting AI into, but mostly trains. But man, he loves trains.

Like, he could have self-driving cars. That's way better than trains. Those can go anywhere. self-driving trains that's where it's at we need trains he's trying to corner the market on shipping which is why wonka made wonka vision so he doesn't want to he doesn't want to have to go up against dude this is actually like out of the history books i think it was when rockefeller basically he wanted to ship his oil everywhere and all the train companies in the u.s they came together because like rockefeller was too powerful they're like we need to do something about him because he's sucking up all our money so they basically like embargoed his oil and they put ridiculously high prices and were like if you want to use our trains i'll have to pay a bunch of money like they banded together so he basically was like if you're gonna make me pay that much i'm not gonna use trains and he made pipes everywhere it was like i don't need trains anymore they just shipped his

oil through pipes and literally cause a depression. Like it knocked out the entire U.S. economy, basically put all the train companies out of business. It was crazy. That's what Willy Wonka is doing. He's trying to put Topham Hatt out of business. He's like, we don't need trains anymore. We got WonkaVision. Well, then I guess I got to give it to Willy Wonka, man. He's the Rockefeller here. I told you you could beat him economically. That's right. And we've seen him tank the world economy already so back to wonka vision yeah he's sending chocolate over the air like tv signals basically the only side effect is that the chocolate gets smaller on the other side mike knows what would happen and he bravely decides to be the first test subject he gets on the platform he says lights camera action at which point the oompa loompas just freaking send him like what are you guys doing he's not willy wonka you don't need to do what he says he's a child because they

know they get to make him into candy and eat him he comes back and he's completely unharmed but that's not gonna last for long because as Willy Wonka says fortunately small boys are extremely springy and elastic-y so I think we'll put him in my taffy pulling machine that should do the trick which again literally turning him into candy and then it's important to note that when he says this he hands Mike TV to the Oompa Loompa the Oompa Loompa looks horrified and whispers something to him and wong is back oh no no i won't hold you responsible basically the oompa loompa was like i don't want to kill this guy and wong is like oh don't worry about that i know it's okay so we've reached the end and i think we've talked about pretty much every scene that comes after this after this his job is done he ignores charlie and joe and just starts going through his mail they ask him what went wrong and he basically just chews them out right says you

guys still are supposed to get killed you didn't die i have to sterilize my ceiling for no reason joe says you're a crook a cheat a swindler that's what you are he also says you're an inhuman monster which is true but do you think maybe he's projecting like he sees these things in other people because it takes one to know one and a swindler so charlie gives the gobstopper to wonka and Wonka says, you win, you passed the test, you won the glorious grand jackpot. He brings him to the great glass Wonka Vader and says, there's one button I've never pressed. The end of this movie, I have always hated it so much. Like of all the cool things that they did involving candy, which was really cool for me as a kid. You get to this, this is your final, your last hurrah. It's an elevator. What does that have to do with candy? A glass elevator that flies? I don't know, everything about it just seems so stupid.

what a terrible way to end the movie yeah i know i know i want charlie to get his chocolate he doesn't get we never see charlie holding any chocolate except for before he went to the chocolate factory like yeah oh it was just so maddening to me here's your prize an elevator like no no one saw that coming no i mean it's it's a big surprise wanka treats the situation kind of like sinisterly and dangerously too like he says i've never pressed this button hold on tight i don't know what's gonna happen they start saying faster faster if we don't get enough speed we'll never get through grandpa joseph's like we'll be cut to ribbons he says probably then they get through and they fly away i mean was this like punishing them for not getting shredded in that high fan tower he's like i'll shoot you up this tower i kind of think that he killed them all in that elevator i kind of think they all died oh it's murder suicide nobody goes in and nobody ever

comes out i mean they don't come out those doors nobody ever does come out right they just float away into heaven like one would do if they were dead he talks kind of weirdly and this is why i thought maybe he's committing suicide because he says i can't go any further and i don't really want to try like that's a weird thing to say dude and then he ends the movie with don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted he lived happily ever after which just seems kind of like a sugar sweet way to end the movie and maybe he's just lying and they all died i don't know or maybe he did pick charlie no i think you're right you know there's nowhere else to go after you've murdered four children might as well murder the fifth and yourself like i kind of think the great wonka vader was his own ticket out of there and then like it it dawned on him that he's like hey i didn't kill these guys i can just put them in

there and then we'll all die all right i think we've come to the end i think we've proven all of our theories was this movie a horror movie for kids of course i mean i was always on board with that. It definitely fits everything. Did Wonka commit five premeditated murders? Yes. Yes. He purposefully killed all these kids. He had the means, the motive and the opportunity. Was Grandpa Joe a big scumbag? Oh, yes. I mean, there's a bounty of evidence for that. You don't have to go far. You can look it up. Was Violet the most innocent kid and did she deserve to inherit the factory. Violet is certainly more ambitious than Charlie. Charlie, I don't think would have made a good CEO of a candy company, but then again, he probably died anyway. So you weren't on board at first, but what do you think now? Are you convinced that Grandpa Joe was a spy who was stealing secrets back in the day, 20 years ago from Willy Wonka? Yeah, definitely. I mean, I think that's

pretty clear what i really wasn't on board with was the candy thing right what do you think was he making them into candy i think it's definitely possible and very much proven by him turning violet into a blueberry into a candy yeah to sum it up i think willy wonka and the chocolate factory is a great movie yeah amazing movie and these theories make it even more fun to watch so everyone go watch it again it's a fun movie and uh right you know we always leave a link in the description where you can rent or buy the movie so pick it up and watch it and if you like our theory or even want to suggest a theory or anything like that you can always follow us and tweet at us on at popcorn isn't real on twitter i know there is another theory that we actually want to cover in another right so we haven't done the most famous willy wonka theory which is the snowpiercer one so maybe maybe in a future episode we'll do that music for this episode was provided

by Christine. And remember, the popcorn isn't real.