Link was not a caveman

who would win in a fight george of the jungle or encino man whoa i knew you were gonna say that yeah see the thing with brendan fraser in encino man is he's surprisingly not ripped like you would expect him to be more muscly but they didn't do any work at all on him whereas he really buffed up for george of the jungle so yeah dude i think i gotta give it to like shredded for george of the jungle well plus george of the jungle has like a certain amount of you know like toon powers where he can like lift up a lion and spin it around on one finger yeah brandon fraser is a big guy he's large he's tall and he's imposing and sometimes he's a whale well he is that's not what i mean though but no like his character in encino man is a big guy as well like if he walked up to you you'd be like whoa it's a big guy wait no i gotta tell you about Stephen Colbert made fun of this, but it was Brendan Fraser accepting the Academy Award for

his role in The Whale. And he just made so many like water references, like it's so great to be on this ship sailing toward all of our whales and all you people out there just like these wonderful marine animals. And as we sail across the sea of Hollywood together, let us all take a deep breath from our blowholes of integrity and dine on the krill of success colbert's like has he watched his movie did he not realize that the movie wasn't about an actual whale because it's not about a whale wow maybe he didn't know what i mean i've heard him talk about his character though he definitely knew what his character was i think he got up on stage his mind blanked and all he could think of was whale and he's like quite possible ocean stuff and speaking of the academy awards this movie that we're talking about encino man has two people in it who won the academy award in 2023 it's pretty pretty weird oscar winners it's got brendan fraser and

It's not Polly Short. Kui Kwan. I'm not sure how you say his name, but yeah, Kui Kwan. Short round. Like two of my favorite actors ever when I was a kid. Yeah, well, but of course, Mr. Kwan is not exactly featured front and center in this movie. He's maybe in two scenes. Yeah. So anyway, I think the point of that Academy Award thing was you can expect great things from this movie Encino Man. Yeah, I mean, well. Oscar worthy material. You can expect anything you want from this movie. But if you're like most people, you probably expect nothing and have never heard of it. It has relatively famous actors in it, though. It's got, of course, Brendan Fraser, we already mentioned. Sean Austin. Yeah, it's got Pauly Shore. It's got Sean Austin. Samwise Gamgee. Those are all names that people know. Like, yes, Sam. Maybe at one point people knew Pauly Shore. People still know who he is. people don't know sean austen's name they know he was no i i sam i mean i always want to call

him cory feldman which i know is not no he's not cory feldman like i've i've known encino man basically for as long as i remember and i understand that a lot of people probably don't know encino man but apparently for whatever reason it was a movie that our dad just had to have like at release and then we watched it like very often like over and over which looking back i now realize is probably because it was like a relatively inoffensive and tame family movie so he's like this one's fun i'll turn this on every once in a while right like it was just an easy choice but uh there's there's one small detail about this movie that has always bugged me could a frozen caveman from thousands of years ago come back to life after being thought out no this could not happen and it is never explained in this movie at all they don't even try to explain it is they just it just happens it happens twice no that's that's always been the my main

sticking point with this movie even as a kid i was like wait a minute that couldn't happen the screenwriting rule is you're allowed one unbelievable thing at the beginning of your script but what if they do it again at the very end well yeah i mean if i've already accepted it could be a callback it could be okay yeah either way i think it's too unbelievable especially in a movie where no other unbelievable things happens so today i'm going to write this great injustice i'm going to try to give a reason for the crazy things that happen in this movie i have a theory that link the caveman played by brendan frazier he was not a caveman he was actually stony played by polly shore he was stony's half brother and uh they concocted a plan together to pretend that he was a caveman and live with dave and uh basically mooch off of him for the rest of school year we's yeah we's lots of juice we lose everything yeah so wait what you what is the what

is the plot of encino man what's this movie all about okay so there's this teenage loser who's like just a total prick he's just like the most irredeemable irredeemable protagonist ever anyway played by sean austin talking about dave yeah dave right there's a teenager named dave played by sean austin and he wants to be popular he also wants to dig a pool he has a best friend named stony but you probably know him better as paulie shore if you don't know who paulie shore is he's the guy from the goofy movie who says a little smoky it's a leaning tower of jesus he's that guy who talks that way anyway basically david just wants to be popular and he finds a frozen caveman in his backyard as he's digging a pool which is a weird thing to be doing yeah he finds a caveman for some reason thinks this will make him popular yeah i don't know why i don't know why i have no idea what his thought process is it seems like he wants to be famous

but he doesn't he hides the fact that it's a caveman which is the thing that makes him interesting so i'm not totally sure it makes zero sense it's the weirdest i i don't know dave is just like he he's he's unhinged he's got problems like he's just like a a total dirt bag and he's also a moron he's attracted to a young woman named robin spelled with a y who as it turns out robin luckily for david is attracted to dirt bags uh she's dating a guy named matt who's a total dirtbag she's also attracted to cavemen yeah uh she's attracted to cavemen and and uh and bullies and uh weasley well not she's not attracted to weasels no no she doesn't like weasels anyway sorry we're probably gonna be talking about weasels a whole bunch just to give context for that for some reason polly shore's character stony says he is a weasel and uses the term weaselot which seems to be what we would call mooch in this day and age

yeah so that's pretty much the plot uh david is a bad guy like a fish out of water story brendan frazier who they call link tries to blend in as a as a high schooler kind of becomes a high schooler doesn't really try to blend in but they sort of force him to and people love link link gets popular david who is as we said a total dirtbag doesn't like that so he tries to get rid of link and then paulie shore's character who as it turns out is actually a very nice guy and also despite what you may think very intelligent he manages to kind of make peace and really without david doing anything at all things turn out fine in the end yeah link lost his girlfriend in the ice age and she also thaws out at the very end and he gets back together with his cave woman and they all live happily ever after and i guess david gets together with robin at the very end which doesn't really make any sense but i always just absolutely loved the fact that for whatever

reason the main character of this movie is obsessed with digging a pool like not paying people who know how to build a pool to help him build a pool like no no he just wants to dig it He just assumes that if he digs a big hole in his yard, it will become a pool. And lo and behold, at the end of the movie, it does. A very muddy, gross pool. I always just love that. I thought it was the funniest, weirdest thing. It's like, why does he want to dig a pool? Why does he think this will work? Oh, it did work. He's got a pool. It would be gross and muddy and people shouldn't be swimming in it. Yeah. Was there a rainstorm? I don't even know why it suddenly filled with water. No, no. there's actually a reason for that in universe. And it's never explained in the movie. It's actually, we can get into this later. It's explained in Stoney's Encino High notebook. There was a book published in conjunction with this movie.

There sure was. And we tracked it down. In that book, it explains that what happened was the rest of the glacier that was underground right there melted and filled the pool with water. that's not how ice works no and then that fool would be like it doesn't expand when it melts it would be a sinkhole yes it would like a deadly sinkhole so let me tell you a little more about this theory it might sound crazy right is the movie is clearly about a caveman how could it not be about a caveman well i already said he he would have been dead if he was a caveman so we know he wasn't a caveman right we're gonna we're gonna go under the assumption that you know real life physics real life anatomy is also present in this movie and if he had frozen he would have died we know from that that he was not frozen he was just the guy Walt Disney is rolling in his frozen grave right now well we know that Stoney

came from a bad family situation I believe that Stoney and his half-brother Link got kicked out and there's good evidence for this in the movie as well and stoney figured that he would fix him and link up with a nice place to stay a good haircut food and money and also maybe teach his loser friend dave a lesson in the process so they concocted a plan to pretend that link is a caveman and live with dave for the rest of the year it's so simple well it worked they got food they got a place to live they got haircuts dave did become a little less horrible by the end of it and i can i can prove basically all of this um now why pretend to be a caveman you might ask well there is good reason for that i also just have to mention the hardest part of this theory was figuring out how stoney had access to some kind of walk-in freezer to make the giant ice block um but i figured that out too i can't wait to hear that so basically it starts out with an

opening sequence where we see link and his wife getting entombed in an earthquake yeah that didn't happen that's just like stoney and axel uh sorry so i think his name was actually axel but i'm gonna get it because that's what he wanted to call him yeah yes it is yeah well we'll get into that later that was actually stoney and link uh just kind of discussing their plan they're like whoa what if you were like a cave man what if you got into um didn't ice he's like yeah cool that's the best poly show i've ever heard i know that's exactly how he talks then dave wakes up he gets to work dig in his own pool which i don't think you can do you can't just go dig a pool by hand not only would it not like work out how you want it to but you also like got to apply for permission with the city council for a major thing like a pool for yeah gas lines water lines yeah well and like it's that's probably what happened he probably hit a water line not a not a glacier

sure it's sewage coming up in his pool that's why he links grover and it's so dirty yeah dave's out there digging his pool stoney walks in he's already mooching off of the family right so he's already wheezing off the family dave's mom is wailing that he snaked her last bagel and then david asks him to grab a shovel and help and he says nope i just want to munch i thought it was pretty weird that he used the word snaked i actually understood that that's one of the few weezed our last bagel that's one of the few slang words he used that i understood stoney is too tired today to help him dig maybe because he was up all night burying a giant block of ice in that pool he's already done enough digging he doesn't want to dig anymore dang i thought he was just a slacker but well and speaking of being slackers uh dave and stoney start having a conversation about life and basically dave wants to accomplish something

and stoney is like no just be a loser we're losers i'm horrible at paulishore impressions we're losers is how he says it this is because he wants dave to keep being a loser living at home with his rich parents so that he can keep mooching off of dave and his rich parents if dave moves away for college then he won't have really anything for stoney to mooch so he wants he wants dave to stay right here okay so i've got a question for you uh stoney says something here that just was i i can't interpret it and there's a lot of things he say that says that i can't interpret this i barely understand a word he says so david's complaining that he accomplished nothing in high school and then stoney says dude you should be stoked though buddy because you got through the last four years without the full-on melon tweakage what does that mean like he didn't get his boobs twisted i don't know what he's celebrating here yeah it could be a

reference to getting bullied and maybe he didn't get bullied as much as he could have i i i kind of think maybe melon means head and he's like you didn't get brainwashed i don't know like melon i have no idea but like he like as we learn in this movie stoney is he's pretty studious he actually likes learning yeah he does he doesn't dislike school he enjoys school he takes good notes stoney reveals his view on life he says truth is bro life's about greasing on the dew back buddy wheezing on the buffest man i've i've deciphered a lot of his slang words what does grease and greasy and greasing mean do you know um i think grease just means like anything that is kind of like underhanded but good like you know okay like it's you know like if someone does something and you might be oh man that is greasy like yeah like you managed it but it was like kind of not great like i don't know i'm not sure but i think what he's saying so he uses buff a lot

he's yeah that's buff that was one i had trouble with buff basically means like successful and or attractive okay but not necessarily both because he refers to stanley kubrick as buff and i don't think he's attracted to stanley kubrick no and that that's only in his notebook that's in his notebook. Yeah. Basically, he's just saying life is all about mooching off of the most successful people. And that's what he wants to continue to do. Later that day at school, they're learning about prehistoric Cro-Magnon man. The teacher asks a question. He says, what were we talking about last week? Prehistoric man in the, in the what? In the what? Nobody raises their hands in the entire class except for Stoney. He's the only one and his hand shoots excitedly up and the teacher calls on him and he says the ice age and then the teacher is like yes that's exactly right he was actually paying attention last week and he was paying attention because he was concocting a

plan back at david's house they're digging again and david digs up a very cold clay bowl stoney immediately grabs it from him and starts to plant ideas in dave's head he says i know what this is bro. That's a Musterian bull. Yeah. That's weird. He's correct. Yeah. So he's almost correct. Musterian refers to an archaeological industry of stone tools associated primarily with Neanderthals in Europe and the earliest anatomically modern humans in North Africa and West Africa. So it's basically right. It's close enough that Stoney actually, you know, has done some research and knows what he's talking about um it's in america though you know instead of being in europe north africa or west asia so uh but no it's uh it's really interesting that he knows this and dave is surprised that he knows this and dave is like how did you know this incredibly obscure fact and he's like don't you ever watch jeopardy which doesn't explain it at all but he does love

jeopardy as we find out in his notebook he wrote a whole letter to trebek trying to get on jeopardy The whole letter was written in answer question format. Oh, it was incredibly difficult to read. Even in his notebook, he seems to have pasted in his notebook pages from his textbook about the Stone Age. Absolutely, yeah. He's got good notes on that. And also, one note I liked from the notebook is that there's a note about political correctness that says you should no longer say homo sapiens, but non-traditional lifestyle sapiens. Oh, that's that's kind of funny. But also, is that is that is that acceptable now? Is that cancelable? I don't know about that. He is really trying to plant the idea in Dave's head that this bull is from the Stone Age. And I believe that he put that bull there for David to find. In just a second, during the ensuing earthquake that happens, he trips and throws the bowl directly on top of the giant ice block that he wants David to find.

I believe that he put that bowl there and he put the ice block there and he's trying to get David to find it there. Dave only found this Iceman buried exactly where Stoney knew he'd be digging and Stoney specifically directed him to dig there and planted the idea of a caveman in his head and planted the idea of stone age pottery in his head. Not only is he a master manipulator, he's good at throwing things while pretending to be tripping so they fall exactly where he wants them to during an actual earthquake. He didn't expect there to be a real earthquake right then. So it's also important to note, though, if you don't believe me, Look at the dirt on and around the ice, the ice block that Dave finds. It's all loosely packed gravel and rocks like it's just been filled in recently. The rest of the pool is tightly packed dirt as if, you know, it was just, you know, someone still digging there.

This is all it's even a different color than the rest of the dirt and in the pool. Right. And the one thing that I always thought was odd is that the ice is not glacier ice. It's like ice cube ice. It's totally transparent. It's like freshly frozen ice, not a bunch of snow and dirt and stuff packed together for centuries in the ground. Yeah, absolutely. So it's clear. It's not quite clear enough for David to see exactly what's inside. But he does immediately announce, there's a guy buried in my pool. They run back to the pool. And there are now cave paintings all over the side of the pool, which David is digging out, which definitely were not there last time we saw them digging. There were no cave paintings before. And also, these paintings aren't on, like, any rock or wall. They're just painted onto the dirt he had been digging, right? Like, it's impossible that he dug exactly where the paintings were just by accident.

Like, no, these paintings would only be there still if they were on, like, a rock or something. Stoney and Link definitely put these paintings there. And that's, this is evidenced by, as they're inspecting the ice block, Stoney, first he says, dude i know what this is it's a caveman planting the idea in dave's head and then when dave is like no no he can't be a caveman that's stupid without even looking stoney points back at the paintings on the wall and says i'm serious like he knew they were there he didn't even look at them he just points he's just like i'm serious a caveman look at those paintings those paintings that weren't there a moment ago yeah the next thing that's revealed is that they have everything they need to move this gigantic ice block they have a ride-on lawnmower a wheelbarrow a swing set and some ropes which they make a pulley system out of which stoney apparently knew exactly how to

make a pulley system to do this as if he's done it before they are very quickly able to get this giant ice block out of there so it would have been just as easy for them to get it in i think it would have been difficult but i guess it's doable is this ice block part of a giant glacier you already mentioned that it doesn't look like glacier ice yeah it's like it doesn't look like a piece of a glacier yeah it's like a like a bathtub shaped singular piece of ice as if someone froze water in a container and brought it here it doesn't look like a chunk of glacier that broke off at all stony kind of completes the illusion by pointing out look look in there that's his pits that's his head um they're probably just looking at like a frozen mannequin that he put into the ice when he grows it thanks Tony was crazy in this plan this is like serial killer behavior he's like practicing freezing a mannequin in a bathtub

you gotta do what you gotta do he he was kicked out of his home him and Link they were both kicked out we're gonna find out later my next note is just I think it's really weird that they apparently like just like slept on top of each other in the dirt and grass yeah i mean from dave's point of view why but from stoney's point of view this makes perfect sense this is another good piece of evidence that he is actually homeless right now he references the fact that his family situation is not good at okay so you believe that's where stoney normally sleeps yes and dave just joined him okay they just haven't noticed that dave's friend sleeps in the dirt in their backyard yeah poor stony but when he first shows up at the pool the day before um and and dave is digging his clothes are very clean and he even says i just cleaned them why are you throwing dirt on them probably just went and we we some clean clothes from a store we we find him later in the movie

wheezing food from the gas station like stealing clothes is a little different but so the next day at school like david is just like overly excited to tell robin that he found a caveman i don't know why like he's certain that she's gonna fall head over heels for him yeah because he found a caveman it's not a good plan that'll do it that'll get her so as they're at school they've left the ice in the shed melting surrounded by heaters when they get back it's just melted and there's a caveman there they didn't see him burst out only only we see him burst out and someone has left like muddy bloody handprints on the wall right like stony just had link come over get all muddy trash the house leave handprints everywhere it's really gross that he's drinking from the gutter maybe this is just how link's been living because he's kind of homeless at the moment yeah either way dave never saw the ice melt he never saw link come out of it he just came home

the ice was gone and there's a caveman but he believes that this caveman came out of the ice actually it's just stony's brother the plan seems to work no matter what your interpretation of the movie is but i find it odd that that uh stony would think that trashing the house would get them to let link stay there let's let's use some mud on the walls that'll get he's got to pretend to be a caveman otherwise the whole thing doesn't work dave won't like sneak some random person into his house but he will sneak a caveman into his house i mean clearly he will right we know he will because he does so his plan does work like stoney just knows dave well enough to know what will get i mean and the plan does work even in if he is an actual caveman because his parents are just like yeah well there's good reason for that too and we'll get into that in just a little bit this this theory goes even deeper just so you know but yeah they're getting to know link he

immediately starts like repeating them and saying words when they say no as he's setting everything on fire he knows how to talk it's not like he it's not like he's a man who's never never used his vocal cords for anything more than like hooting oh they give him a bath using all the cleaning chemicals in the cupboard which is so dangerous oh yeah no they would make like chlorine gas but either way they clean him up he looks just like stony you know he's got the same hair the same fashion uh he elongates his words just like stony he says but uh and stony even points this out he's like hey he looks just like me and he talks like me yeah we're brothers yeah david then says we got to give him a cool name and stoney immediately says axel and i think that's because his name is axel i think stoney's brother was named axel but unfortunately david disagreed and they ended up calling him link i don't think that link minds i think he kind of

sees this as a way to run away from his past and he's okay with having a new name so they just go along with that you mentioned dave's parents right how they kind of just accept this whole thing there's good reason for that they're a bit freaked out the house has been trashed but uh you know they're talking to dave about it they dave says oh link is a foreign exchange student from estonia as dave is trying to convince them of this uh his dad looks kind of like scared and uneasy but the mom just looks confused and upset like it's it's hard to interpret what the dad is feeling his mom says why does none of this sound familiar to me but then the dad butts in and very carefully says uh oh actually i i i think that now i i i do recall something all the while staring at stony so this is because dave's dad is having an affair with stony's mom and he is probably I mean, he is Stoney's dad. But yeah, Dave and Stoney are half brothers, unbeknownst to Dave and

his mom. I didn't even think the dad was an important character at all. No, he is. And there's good proof of this too. So right now, Stoney and Link, they know that he has this secret family with them and they're using that against him. They're pressuring him to let them stay there he recognizes link he knows that link is stoney's half-brother from his secret family and he knows that link will reveal all his cheating if he doesn't play along otherwise there's no reason why would he take the kid's side on this except for to like protect some secret sordid affair and even then says he he ends the discussion and says okay it's time for dinner i'm hungry stanley i assume you'll be joining us we practically feed the whole neighborhood so why not part of estonia as well like he's so ready to accept this and go along with it it doesn't make any sense unless he's like just trying to brush it aside as quick as possible i mean it definitely

always seemed weird to me how quickly they accept it despite them having never like i assume you'd have to sign forms or something like you can't just have a kid from another country stay with you so they take link to school and it's revealed that link is not a caveman he's not a caveman at all he's just like a kind-hearted kind of wacky dude he's completely comfortable in his surroundings he starts climbing around making friends and just having fun like he's just a nice guy out of school this whole time stoney thinks dave's a jerk for using link i don't really understand how he's using link but uh he is a jerk though he's correct about that well i mean stoney's sticking up for link because link's his brother but david keeps saying we found him we can do whatever we want with him i don't know what he wants to do with him but then stony it's a mystery stony stony cuts him off he's like we we we no you you you i just want to be

his friend after school that day it's revealed that stony and link were clearly great friends already they've been friends for a long time because they're brothers link and stony hit up a convenience store which they probably do every day because they're homeless and they need food and they're clearly just messing around stoney's pretending to be a caveman while loading up on snacks and they're having some bro fun right like they they wheeze the juice they get candy they get burritos and then uh when they leave link puts on sunglasses goes back in and says i'll be back which he wouldn't know how to do if he was a caveman what well he why would he be parodying terminator if he's a caveman he did see that scene on the tv yeah okay i mean he wouldn't know the significance of that scene he saw it before he'd ever heard a word of english you know someone who made this movie really liked that that scene from terminator dude i mean when this movie was made

that scene was like the greatest thing ever and still is because terminator is amazing we made like three episodes about Terminator. If David isn't there, why is Link so committed to his character that he's still in character if they go to this gas station every day? Link's just messing around. Like Link, he never acts caveman-y at all in this scene. He's just being a guy. Stoney's the one who's acting like he's a caveman. Well, yeah, so does Stoney. I mean, Stoney's the one acting like he's a caveman just for fun. So, yeah. They're just, they're just being bros. They're just messing around. Okay. This wheeze the juice thing. That's where they stick their head under the slushy machine and they just drink it. That's the part of this movie that I remember most, I think, from when I was a kid. I don't think I remember a whole lot other than them thawing him out and wheezing the juice. I didn't remember this part until I watched it again.

I mostly just remembered like the building the pool thing. To me, that was like so weird. I didn't remember that Stoney refers to himself as a weasel. Or that he uses this word at other points in the movie. And I always wonder, why is it called wheezing the juice? Is it because it's like you're choking on it? No, no, no. You're inhaling the juice. You're drinking it so much. It's a verb that comes from the noun weasel. Yeah, I know that now. To weasel, to wheeze. I grew up with asthma, so to me, wheezing meant something completely different. Inhale the juice. Oh, no. I mean, that's kind of what they were doing. the two store clerks clearly knew they were gonna steal and were watching them the whole time and then when they started wheezing the juice they were like okay stop stealing get out right yes sorry they were doing and random trivia of course brendan fraser and the store clerk here would

later be in the movie the mummy brendan fraser of course as o'connell and the store clerk as dr bay uh the the guy who runs the library of the library yeah so they're all eating dinner together and stoney starts kind of razzing dave's dad he says you know mr m the way i look at it someday your daughter and i could be married and we could be related which is a weird thing to say yeah i always thought that was weird it's very weird but he's clearly playing on the fact that they are related he's he's just trying to get under his dad's skin right he's like yeah couldn't we be related dude and then his dad is like yeah i count the days and then immediately asks so stanley how's your mother why would he be asking about stoney's mom it's because she's his lover he's been having an affair with her he's like how's your mom doing he's probably kind of like do you need like money or something stony was threatening him by very subtly alluding to this in front of

his family and then he much less subtly alludes to the same thing well he's he's basically like what do you want stony like how's your mom is everything okay and then stony answers him and reveals everything is not okay and tells him what he's doing like this is the best part of this theory stony says she's really bummed mr morgan hey if you're edged because i'm wheezing on your grindage just chill because if i had the whole brady bunch thing happening at my pad i'd go grind over there so don't tax my gig so hardcore cruster he is literally describing how they're having severe family trouble and he's been kicked out and forced to live on the street with link and they need a place to live that's what he's telling him we might need to translate that sentence into English because I know that grindage means food grind means eat which is not generally what grind means sometimes it's the skateboarding thing Cruster I believe is old man yeah it's just like

old uptight dude he basically just says like yeah if you're mad that I'm you know kicking it over here and eating your food wheezing your grindage don't be luching your food yes like and don't be because you know if i had a family if i had the whole brady bunch thing happening in my pad he's basically just saying if i had a mom and a dad and everything good like i'm supposed to have dad then i'd be over there yeah i mean that's what he says like my mom's not taking care of me so you have to dad cruster since it seems like stoney is here all the time uh wheezing their grindage mm-hmm maybe the mom doesn't like it when he takes her last bagel but the dad has accepted that they feed stony pretty much every day so yeah because he's his son why did he need such a complicated plan it seems like he could have just brought link and said he was a student from estonia instead of convincing dave that he's a caveman first and then having it's because layer

upon layer of lies in this yeah yeah yeah no it's because he is uh dave's dad's son like dave's dad is stoney's dad but dave's dad is not link's dad link came from another guy okay so so he knows that he won't want to take care of link so he has to like concoct this whole weird thing to get dave on board because he's like if dave is on board then that will just make everything easier for me i'll be able to pressure the dad we'll be able to smooth things over with the mom he's just taking the easy road he's not over complicating at all what are you talking about well link again just very good at staying in character then during this scene um because he eats from the dog bowl which is actually his bowl yeah and then he eats a fly maybe i mean that's not so weird i i knew a guy in high school who uh would like to go around and catch flies out of the air so uh and eat them It happens. He didn't eat them, but he would catch them.

All right. So then Link is going to go on a date with Ella at the ice skating rink, which is called Blades. This whole scene might seem rather innocuous in the context of my theory, but it turns out this scene is actually integral to my theory. Oh, this is how he got the ice block. I racked my brain trying to figure out how Stoney would have access to a place that can produce large quantities of ice. And then it hit me. The ice skating rink. The entire purpose of this place is to produce ice. Of course, they have some sort of freezer or ice machine or something. And I mean, why include the ice skating rink in the movie at all, if not to provide a way for him to have created this ice block. Is there any evidence that he is connected somehow to this ice skating rink? Well, it turns out, as we've mentioned before, there's a tie-in book that was made to support this movie. It's only advertised like way, way, way at the end credits, like after

everything. There's one line that says, check out Stoney's Encino High notebook. So we tracked it down. We read this entire book. Very hard to track down, by the way. Yeah, it's a valuable book now. nowadays it shows that stoney is much more invested in his studies and cavemen than you might have guessed watching the movie but i also found on page 36 of the book that stoney has made a nug rating chart ranking various aspects of the girls that he knows and some fictional girls as well and one girl in particular on this chart stands out her name is amy m and according to stoney she scored a perfect 10 in betty hood smooch city moppage bathing suit and personality those are the five categories and i didn't name them stoney named them so don't don't get mad at me i believe his hair betty seems to be what they call just any woman being a being a babe basically yeah okay amy m according to his notes is a waitress at blades she graduated last year and

she is quite warm for the stony man they apparently go to smooch city on the regular she could have easily let stony in after hours to create his ice block in whatever container he brought with him it would have been no problem for this you know recently graduated uh waitress to let someone into the into the ice skating rink whenever she wants i guess okay so she would have access to it after hours most likely you know if she's closing would she let stony in risking her job to make a giant block of ice why why do you think he ranked her a perfect 10 in all categories clearly this girl is willing to you know help him out with whatever he needs okay so it does establish that he has a definite connection of some kind to the ice skating rink blades all right i'm glad i was able to prove that so conclusively at the end of their time at blades link saves david from robin's boyfriend matt uh he's bullying him uh but link yells and then matt comes and he

gets mad at link and then link just absolutely tanks a punch and uh walks away instead of fighting back stoney explains to dave that link is a pacifist which it sounds like he actually knows because like him and link are brothers and he knows link he's very adamant that link is a pacifist and he even gives reasons like well because cavemen only fight for food to me hearing that explanation i was like uh but did they we don't know they might have fought each other you know for other reasons they they could you know have posturing and like oh i beat up that guy now i'm the leader of the clan kind of thing like i don't know it's odd that stony makes that uh that deduction we don't know but we do know that link is a pacifist and that uh stony is right about it which seems like he knows Link intimately, like as if they were brothers or something. One of the following scenes shows our friend Short Round from the Computer Club.

Ke Hui Kwan. His character was named Kim Sung. He makes friends with Kim Sung, gives him a big hug, stands up for him when he starts to get a little bullied. Basically just shows that Link is just like a totally nice dude. That's like an Oscar-worthy scene right there when they hug. It is. It's really well acted. Two Oscar winners. oh man the next thing this is a important part of the movie they go to the museum and link kind of freaks out a bit he has a bit of an existential crisis uh it seems like he is upset because he realizes he's from thousands of years ago and these bones are like all that's left of his life but i think that really he's having a crisis because he's tired of pretending to be a caveman he's looking at all this caveman stuff around him he's like is this my life now i just want to go back to normal i just want to be a kid again but he knows that he can never go back he can't go

back to that horrible family situation that he just got out of so he goes and starts doing caveman stuff he starts yelling and making fire and hiding in the corner like he's he's just kind of over acting the caveman thing now he's like i guess that's all i am i'm a caveman doesn't that make perfect sense because he wants to go back to being not a caveman he decides to be more of a caveman than ever it's it's a reaction it's like a knee-jerk reaction he's trapped and he's like well i guess if this is what the world wants me to be i'll be a caveman right like he's had more success in his life as a light a fire in a museum and stoney understands like stoney goes over to him and he hugs him and he says link it's okay i understand family we're family man he is he's his family he's his brother makes perfect sense right he's clearly a brother comforting his older brother who's having like a bit of a breakdown there's nothing more to it than that okay i don't

see how you can interpret it any other way basically after they have a little run-in with the law david decides he's had enough of link and he drives link far away to dump him on the side of the road yeah pretty uh cruel thing to do dude dave is such an asshole so bad so dave gives link a backpack which i'm assuming might have like some clothes in it i don't know he gives him a skateboard and he gives him a handful of quarters for radmobile the arcade game that link loves and as he gives him these quarters Link looks at him like he can't believe this and Dave is just the most worthless loser on the planet for giving him a handful of quarters a correct deduction if you don't watch anything else watch that part of this movie because the look he gives him is not the look of a caveman this is the look of a man who knows exactly how much of a psychopath Dave is for ditching him with a handful of quarters and nothing else also it's especially hurtful because

link just got kicked out by his family and has been living on the street so he's like oh this again great you know like it really sucks that's this is my favorite part of the theory because it makes it makes the whole core of the story a lot more emotional and meaningful so luckily stoney shows up and tells dave to call him back because he's like this is my brother then they start fighting and link has to pull them apart interestingly he yanks dave and only dave off and puts him in a headlock uh well growling family family um and then he caringly checks stoney's wounds because stoney's like bleeding all over kind of seems like maybe he cares a lot more about stoney than dave well he should no matter what and also because dave's a jerk yeah stoney has done fun things with him and they all say sorry and they hug and that is pretty much it for my theory the rest of the movie is they go to prom just as link is about to be crowned

prom king by a short round matt bursts in and declares he's a caveman and they all love it they're so happy that he's a caveman there are only two ways that would go either they just think matt's an idiot or they think oh cool whatever that means he's awesome yeah i don't know what matt's trying to do and matt kind of got hit on the head and lost his mind but yeah he gets thrown in the cake and it no longer matters apparently so he's gone uh robin though they have a shot of robin picking up the photos that matt brought as proof and she looks affronted like she's like oh and that never goes anywhere like it's it seems like robin's gonna have a big problem with this but she doesn't then they just go back to the pool which is magically full of glacier water and they all dance and party maybe that's why now she's into uh dave because matt's a jerk he fell on the cake she's not she realizes it was a caveman she was into men who

find cavemen he dave was right all along all he had to do was prove to her that he found a caveman oh my gosh you should have just shown her those pictures he's like holy cow he's the perfect man for me a man who finds cavemen he knows her so well oh man if only he had showed her those pictures he should have just done that from the get-go why did he instead show her a random picture of them as kids bathing together and say hey here's a picture of me and you naked you can show it to whoever you want he's so creepy and yeah that's a really weird thing i hate dave but those photos really aren't proof of anything anything no they're proof of him standing next to a block of ice that's it and then yeah you know with a very dirty man anyway the movie ends with them finding footprints and smoke and drawings and then it's link's girlfriend which they clearly just had her pretend to be a cave person so that she could join them in this crazy uh thing they're

doing dang i wonder how much they're going to try to exploit this family before uh the the dad says that's enough in stanley's notebook there are some extra photos and also there's a page implying that matt the bully got a hold of stanley's notebook as well and wrote in it he's like i got your notebook i know everything now ha ha ha ha so one of the photos in the notebook does actually show a frozen man like covered in like chunks of ice stoney wrote the note he says subject is most maximally unfresh they wouldn't have had a picture of this because they never saw him on freeze also it's clearly a photo of like a mannequin covered in ice there is no way this is an actual man it looks like plastic so i think that the only way stoney could have had a picture of this is if he froze a mannequin and took a picture while he was doing it okay that's the only way he could have had this picture in his notebook he couldn't have taken it when it was

unfreezing i guess that makes sense with your theory it would mean that it proves my theory he couldn't have taken this photo otherwise so he wrote all this evidence about link being a caveman then left it somewhere purposefully where matt would find it so that matt could corroborate his story about link being the caveman whoa maybe i mean why else is he writing all this fake stuff in his notebook that are lies right but then there's also another really good piece of proof on one of the last pages of the notebook he writes natural science report conclusion question what is the relationship of encino man to all weasels living on planet earth today and then he's got a picture of him and link and dave and he says answer we're family okay so there you go what is the relationship of encino man to all weasels their family which they are because he's his brother well you know i never thought i would be putting this much thought into this

particular movie but i think if you want to watch an old 90s film with paulie shore and brendan fraser and you'd like to think about it in sort of a different way then i think it's a fun way to to to to view the movie again wow okay so you'd give it like two stone age thumbs up oh yeah yeah i have to say though i read that this movie was released against two other like more popular films like alien three or something and something else and the studio decided to release it even against those other two films because they were like is it'll still succeed because of the strength of paulie shore yeah and i'm like oh boy i only know paulie shore from this movie apparently he was famous before i know him from this movie and the goofy movies yeah he was in like futurama where he had to live in a dome or something. Oh, right. Yeah. It was like a future dome and he got in there by accident and then everyone in there was uptight

and he taught them how to loosen up or something. Okay, so it's footloose in a dome. Basically.

Biodome, that's what it was called. Biodome. Thank you so much for listening. Music for this episode provided by Christine. You can follow us on Twitter at Popcorn Isn't Real. You can show your support on our Patreon if you like what we're doing and want us to keep doing it. It means a lot to us. You know, we basically do all this in our free time and it's pretty hard to, it takes a lot of effort to put in all the work to come up with these theories and find all the evidence and stuff. So any amount of support is much, much appreciated. And remember, the popcorn isn't real.

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